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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24757381">Life After Death</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/babblefish11/pseuds/babblefish11'>babblefish11</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Hurt/Comfort, James Sirius Potter Centric, Not Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:07:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>28,524</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24757381</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/babblefish11/pseuds/babblefish11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been a year since his children had been taken by escaped Death Eaters, Harry still doesn't know what happened. Now he's left to help his kids pick up the pieces and find the Death Eaters that hurt his children, but can his kids really recover? With the threat of the Death Eaters still looming, the Potters will have to find solace in each other and an unlikely ally. James-centric.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The Malfoys are not in this chapter but will come later in the story which is why they are in the character tags</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> <b>CHAPTER ONE </b> </p><p>It had been a year since his children had been taken by escaped Death Eaters. Twelve months since that fateful Christmas. Seven months since his children had been discovered in a small town in France, beaten and unconscious by a motorbike on the side of the road. Seven months since they had been rushed to St. Mungo's. Seven months since Lily had cried in his arms while Ginny fussed over Al. Seven months since he'd seen James slide down the wall looking ten years older than he was.</p><p>Seven months.</p><p>And Harry Potter still didn't know what had happened. He had no idea how much his children had been through, why they had been kidnapped, or how to help them. Seven months since he and Ginny had cried in relief upon seeing their kids, and still nothing. That was not to say things had not changed, his kids had been through an ordeal and it showed in the changes in their behaviour.</p><p>It showed in the way Lily constantly talked to fill any silence. Always looking for the next thing to do. Looking for a new thing to learn, to master. Anything to keep her mind from wandering. It showed in the way Albus searched through bookshelves and odd vases or decor, hoarding whatever he found. His collection of dung bombs, exploding balloons, and healing potions was quite large and Al carried it around in a small box. Small enough, to the eye, to fit in his pocket but charmed with an undetectable extension charm. Anything to be prepared. It, oddly enough, showed in the way James didn't show it. Hiding his feelings, putting his siblings before him. Always. He had become fiercely protective of them. He had a strong facade as he comforted his siblings, never expecting or getting comfort himself. He was always on guard, his eyes searching every room for possible exits. Anything to never show his feelings.</p><p>The nightmares had started almost as soon as they had been rescued. The nurse had said it was normal that they were having issues sleeping; she said it would stop soon, but if anything they had only gotten worse. Lily and Al's screams had penetrated the house almost every night and it was always James who got their first. When Harry and Ginny ran into whichever room the screams had come from, James was always by the bed, soothing his sibling, wide eyed but ever so strong.</p><p>While Ginny and Harry had gotten used to waking up to Al or Lily's screams, they never seemed to hear James. There were never screams coming from his room. He would always be there to comfort, but he never showed signs of wanting or needing comfort. Of course, neither parent believed James when he assured them he was not having any nightmares. Rather, they assumed he was trying to hide them for some reason. In fact, Harry had begun to suspect James wasn't sleeping at all, at least not at home. He had no idea what went on at Hogwarts.</p><p>At first, Ginny hadn't wanted to send them back to Hogwarts the September after they had been rescued and Harry had his doubts as well. All three had been able to catch up on what they had missed, even Lily who had only been in her first year. At school, they were sure to be pestered with questions about their ordeal, not to mention the fact that there would be no one there to help them deal with nightmares. All three were in separate houses as well with James being in Gryffindor, Albus in Slytherin, and Lily in Ravenclaw. But the kids had wanted to go and the nurse had said that it would be good for them to continue with normal life so the Potters had consented.<br/>
</p><p>From what they could tell, the three children stayed together mostly when outside of class. Lily, the most social one, eventually reconnected with her old friends and her cousin Hugo. James had also reconnected with his friends, but, according to Al, rarely stayed far away from his siblings. Al, surprisingly, had the most trouble settling back into Hogwarts despite having been the most eager to return. Being a Slytherin was something he had gotten used to by the end of his first year at Hogwarts. He had developed a good relationship with nearly everyone in his house, particularly with a pair of muggle born twins, Tom and Julia, and, surprisingly, a boy named Adam who was the son of Blaise Zabini. He had adjusted even more his second year of school when two of his cousins, Lucy (Percy's Daughter) and Louis (Bill's son) had also been sorted into Slytherin. His ordeal, however, at the hands of those who swore they lived by the code of Slytherins, had distanced him from his house again. It had taken longer for him to re-adjust and learn that Death Eaters may be mostly Slytherins, but most Slytherins were not Death Eaters.</p><p>People had learned not to ask about what had happened. They had learned that Lily would burst into tears and Albus would hyperventilate and James would be there to growl at whoever upset his siblings. Harry and Ginny weren't sure how James reacted when asked alone. He was so mysterious now.<br/>
Still, life had gone on in some twisted way for seven months.</p><p>Now it was Christmas time again and the kids were in their beds, excited for the upcoming holidays. Hoping they would be far better than last year's, not that it was a high bar to clear. The house was under several protective charms, his wand was under his pillow, and the Aurors had no reason to believe that the Death Eaters were planning to try again. Despite this, Harry couldn't sleep. He kept getting up and going to his kids' rooms to make sure they were there, that they were safe.</p><p>At around three in the morning, he rose again to check on them. He padded softly to James' room first. The boy had been asleep the last few times to Harry's delight. He needed the rest. The father eased open the door and peered inside. Panic fluttered through his chest, the bed was empty. Fighting to stay calm, Harry rushed to Al's room next door, throwing open the door. There was a loud gasp and before Harry knew what was happening James' wand was pointed straight at him.</p><p>"James!?" Harry whispered. He could make out the figure of his son, standing tall by Al's bed, his hand shaking ever so slightly.</p><p>"D-dad. Sorry." James answered, lowering his wand. "You startled me."</p><p>"What are you doing here?" Harry asked, putting an arm around his son's shoulder, noting how the boy tensed momentarily at the contact before relaxing.</p><p>"I just- I couldn't sleep. I wanted to make sure they were okay." He gestured towards the bed which Harry saw had not one but two sleeping figures. "Lily doesn't like to sleep alone. She sleeps with Hugo at school. I think Al sleeps next to Tom or Adam sometimes too, he's just too embarrassed to say anything." He explained, referring to Al's two best friends. "I guess here at home all they have is each other. Al says he only does it for Lily, but I think having someone helps to keep nightmares away for both of them."</p><p>"And who helps you, James?" Harry questioned softly, leaning to kiss the top of his boy's head.</p><p>"I-I don't-" James stuttered. "I'm fine. I'm fine as long as they are."</p><p>Harry kissed his other two children before leading James out of the room. "James, love, you don't have to be so strong. It's okay to tell us how you feel."</p><p>"Honestly! I'm fine, dad." James said earnestly.</p><p>"Jamie," Harry murmured using an old nickname. "You don't have to watch over them anymore. Mummy and I are here. Neville and Minerva are at school. You don't have to always protect them."</p><p>"But I do!" He protested earnestly, looking up at his father. "And even if I didn't, it wouldn't matter 'cause I'm fine."</p><p>Harry noted the rather frequent use of the phrase "I'm fine". It seemed so rehearsed. He sighed and pulled his son close, rocking him gently. "You need to sleep, love. You look dead on your feet."</p><p>James shook his head. "I can't."</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>"I just can't.</p><p>"Jamie, you need to sleep." Harry coaxed. "Mummy and I are worried about you."</p><p>"You shouldn't be!" He told his father. "I'm fine. Worry about Al and Lily."</p><p>"We are." Harry promised. "But we know you aren't fine. Come on, you need to sleep. It's okay if you have nightmares."</p><p>"I-I do sleep." James countered.</p><p>Harry sighed. It was obvious he wasn't getting anywhere. "Well, then off to bed."</p><p>James gave one last glance at Al's bedroom door before padding to his own.</p><p>Harry made sure his eldest child was in bed and under the covers at least before walking back to his own room, ruffling his hair. When he walked in, he found Ginny sitting up on the bed, waiting for him. "What happened?" She asked, concern evident in her soft voice.</p><p>With another tired sigh, Harry collapsed on the bed next to her, running a hand through her red hair. "James." He answered. At her questioning look, he recounted the earlier incident. "I never thought James would become so, so…"</p><p>"Messed up?" Ginny suggested quietly.</p><p>The father nodded forlornly. James had always been different from his siblings with his devil may care attitude that hid how insecure he was. Despite that, James had always been the hyper one; laughing, joking, and running around. He had never been one to give in or give up. One thing James had always been good with, however, was masks. In the rare instances that something did get him down to deepen his insecurity, he had been able to hide it so well that no one could tell he was hurting. Harry, having done the same thing himself at times following the war, had been able to see through the act. Now though, James was acting like he was permanently hiding himself. Sure, he still cracked jokes and played pranks, but it seemed like this time the mask was not going to come off, if it even was a mask; Harry was not sure if James truly believed that he didn't need to cope with his ordeal or not.</p><p>The nurse had told him enough for him to speculate something of what James had been through. She had pulled him aside muttering about how all three children showed signs of being tortured but James had shown far more, both physical and emotional. It seemed that the death eaters had dabbled in some muggle ways as well as the cruciatus curse and James had taken the brunt of it. Harry could vividly picture James running in front of his siblings and offering himself to protect them.</p><p>"Ginny, he- they were tortured! And-and I have felt it. It's like every bone in your body is breaking and burning. It's not meant to do anything other than cause pure pain, and it does! I barely could take 30 seconds of it when I was fourteen. And they all had to take so much more! I don't know how we can even begin to understand what they need without knowing what they've been through! How can I protect them if I don't know what I'm protecting them from?"</p><p>"I know." She said quietly.</p><p>"They don't want to talk about it, I understand that but there has to be some way." He carded a hand through his already rumpled hair in frustration.</p><p>"What can we do?" Ginny asked, a hint of despair in her voice too. She hated seeing her children, her precious babies, so hurt, yes. However, she knew it was worse for her husband. Harry, in his usual self-deprecating manner, had managed to convince himself it was his fault that the kids were put through whatever it was that happened to them.</p><p>"I'm going to ask Dumbledore." He answered. "Minerva gave me access to the portrait at any time. Maybe he'll know what to do."</p><p>Ginny nodded. "That's a good idea." She kissed her husband's lips lovingly before laying back down. "For now, though let's sleep."<br/>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br/>
James hadn't been lying when he told his Dad that he slept. He did. Just not at home. Not when his siblings and parents could hear him if he screamed. Even in school he always put a silencing charm around his bed so his dorm mates wouldn't hear him. Unfortunately, he couldn't really put one at home, he wasn't allowed to do magic away from Hogwarts.<br/>
Every time he did sleep, James relived the events of last year. The pain, the screaming, the despair. He had to show his siblings that he was still okay and there for them. He had to be alert. He couldn't scream, not when his siblings could hear him. Even when in the Death Eaters' clutches, he had tried his best not to scream when his siblings were near him. When they pointed their wands at him and whispered that word that caused pure pain to arch through his body, he would clench his fists, bite his lip, and try his best not to scream. In fact, it was almost a mercy when they had dragged him far away, so far that Lily and Al wouldn't hear him when he screamed. Then he would, he would scream in pure unadulterated agony. But never so easily in front of them. It just wouldn't do if everybody fell apart and James was not going to deprive his siblings of the luxury that was falling apart.</p><p>
 The thing was, every time James closed his eyes and stopped guarding himself, he remembered everything. The pain, the fear, the despair, the tears, everything. When he fell asleep, he couldn't stop himself from falling apart and he refused to do so in front of his siblings. After all, he was the Gryffindor, and more importantly, the eldest. He was supposed to be the strong one, but every time he went to sleep he couldn't help but feel weak.
</p><p>
 The last time he had slept, back in his dormitory, he had flashed back to the first time they had hurt him.
</p><p>
  <i>Lily clutched at Albus as James stood in front of them, shielding them with his arms. It was their second or third day in the horrid place, wherever it was. It was a rather small room with unfinished flooring and drab cinder walls. Torches enchanted with a bright magical fire lit the room minimally from their places on the walls. A small door led to a run-down bathroom and another larger door appeared to be the entrance to the room, though it was securely locked, both magically and physically. On the far side of the room from the door, (not that there was much space), three small cots were shoved against the wall where the Potter kids were crouched, watching as the Death Eaters approached them.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"What do you want with us?!" He yelled, asking what he had already asked several times before but hoping to finally get an answer.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Hmm." One man paused mockingly as if thinking. "I think I'll definitely tell you that." James had identified him as the leader of the group. He was a pale skinned man, probably paler than he had been before Azkaban. His skin contrasted dramatically with his dark hair and cold brown eyes. Careful listening had informed James that this man's name was Dolohov. James knew that name from the stories his father told him. Dolohov was the reason Teddy had no father and mother.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Well you better!" The boy ordered, sounding infinitely more courageous than he felt.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The crowd of Death Eaters laughed. "Would you look at that?" One of them, a pallid man with black hair that looked rather like Frankenstein, cackled. "Just like his Daddy, this one. Trying to act brave."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Now then Amycus," Dolohov said, still looking at James patronizingly. "He is a little Gryffindor after all."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"An insolent one." Amycus's sister, Alecto, the only female, snapped.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Yes." Dolohov mused. "He is, isn't he." He reached out a hand as if to strike the boy, who backed away. The crowd jeered again.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Not so brave after all, are you?" Alecto laughed heartily. "And your little siblings most certainly aren't." She moved towards the huddled forms of Lily and Albus but found James in her way.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Leave them alone." He snarled.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Dolohov rolled his eyes, pushing Alecto. "Oh never mind all this. Look munchkin, we'll cut to the chase. Your Daddy gave us so much grief, we thought we'd return the favor. You three will complete a series of...challenges to test your skills every day. Fail, and you get punished. It's simple."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Why?" James asked. This time, Dolohov did strike him. James stumbled backwards, almost crashing into his siblings who were behind him, his hand going to cup his cheek. "You aren't going to say anything? Why do you need three kids to do your dirty work? Lily can barely do magic yet! You can't make her do this!"</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Watch me." Dolohov sneered. "Alecto, get the girl." The red haired woman grabbed the screaming red haired girl from Albus, who desperately tried to hold onto her, and dragged her to the center of the room.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"NO!" James screamed, lashing out and attempting to punch the evil man in the face. Dolohov dodged his punch and grabbed him by the hair, throwing him to another Death Eater. "LEAVE HER ALONE!" James struggled against Amycus as the Death Eater held him back.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Dolohov rounded on the crying girl, pointing his wand at her. "Crucio!" He hissed. Lily screamed in agony as her body writhed on the floor. Her cries of pain echoed through the room, bouncing around the room.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"STOP!" James broke free of his captor and charged towards Dolohov, pushing him away from the pained girl.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Lily lay limp on the floor as the pain stopped flooding through her body. Albus ran forward and gathered the dazed, but awake, girl in his arms before pulling her back to place her near one of the cots, shooting a frightened look at James.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"If you want to hurt someone, you hurt me." James said in a low voice. "Don't touch my sister or my brother."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"You want to be hurt?" Dolohov challenged. "Fine." He grabbed James's arm and pulled him towards him, forcing him to the ground. "You'll be hurt." James raised his brown eyes to meet the cruel man's , but stayed silent. Dolohov looked at James as if there was no one else but him and the kneeling boy in the room, pointing his wand at him deliberately. "Crucio." He whispered.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>It was pain like James had never felt before. It felt as if fire was coursing through his veins as a thousand knives cut him over and over again. Every bone in his body was shattering and all the pain that would cause was doubled, no tripled, no it was impossible to describe the amount of pain. What James was feeling, that was the quintessence of pain.<br/>
He tried, he really did. He screwed up his face as his body thrashed on the floor, trying not to scream. He couldn't help it though. He opened his mouth and let out a scream of pure anguish, and then another one. Suddenly, he couldn't stop screaming as he gasped for breath. He wasn't sure how long it went on, Albus later told him it was at least five minutes.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Just as suddenly as it had come, the pain left, leaving the fourteen year old boy lying on his back on the cold floor, seeing black spots as he weakly attempted to get up. He winced as Dolohov lifted him up by the scruff of his shirt and pulled him close. "That is pain." He hissed. "That is what you will feel if you do not cooperate. And I won't always be so lenient as to save your little siblings." With that, he threw the boy to the floor and walked out, followed by the party of death eaters.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>James hurried to his feet, ignoring how much he wanted to just lay on the floor, and ran to his brother and sister. "Lily, are you okay?" He asked worriedly, stroking her hair.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>She sniffed pitifully and nodded, burying her face in his chest. "That really hurt, Jamie." She mumbled.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>James kissed the top of her head. "I know, Lils, I know. It's gonna be okay." He looked up at his brother. "Al, you okay?"</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Albus nodded, white faced. "Am I? What about you? They just-" James held a finger to his mouth, cutting him off, and shook his head, nodding to Lily. Albus bit his lip and nodded, understanding. Lily was already shaken up from being tortured herself and watching James. They needed to focus on her. The green eyed boy joined his older brother in wrapping the youngest in a hug. Seeing that James's strength was slowly fading, Albus opened his mouth and in a shaky voice, began to sing a lullaby Ginny often sang to Lily.<br/>
As Albus sang, James slowly rocked his sister, until she was asleep. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>As soon as Lily had fallen into the blissful escape of slumber, James gently placed her on one of the cots. "Y-you sleep too Albus." he murmured trying to keep together.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"No." The boy said obstinately. "You were hurt James! You need to rest!"</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"I-I'm fine." James lied. "Albus, please." </i>
</p><p>James shook himself. He wasn't there anymore. He was safe in his bed at home with Lily and Albus peacefully slumbering right next doors and his parents down the hall. He glanced at the clock hanging on his wall.</p><p>4:30 a.m Not too early to be up, he decided. Just as he was about to get out of bed, he remembered his dad's face.</p><p>
  <i>"Mummy and I are worried about you." </i>
</p><p>For the sake of his dad's sanity he had to at least act like he was okay and asleep. With a sigh, James lay back down, trying not to think of what had happened a year earlier. Trying not to think about being accosted in his bed that night when his parents were at the Ministry's Christmas Party. Trying not to think about seeing Lily, who had been so excited about presents and being home, being thrown onto a portkey before he and Albus were thrown after her. Trying not to think about the panic he'd felt when they found themselves in a strange and empty not to think about the fear that had spiked through his body as Death Eaters had filled the room, pulling off their masks one by one.</p><p>And there he was thinking about it again. He just couldn't seem to stop.</p><p>He rolled over in his bed, yawning. He really wanted to sleep, he hadn't slept properly in months, but he didn't trust himself to be able to fight off terrors that lurked in his mind. Instead, he grabbed a book from his bag and stared at the words on the page until he heard the sounds of his mother and father in the kitchen.</p><p>Harry wished he could say he was surprised when James came padding into the kitchen ten minutes after he and Ginny. It seemed the boy still hadn't slept."Mornin' Jamie." He greeted, sipping at his coffee. Then, just because his son looked so much like a deer in headlights at his knowing look, Harry asked: "Slept well?"</p><p>James nodded. "Mmhmm. I'm starving, what's for breakfast?"</p><p>"Whatever you want dear." Ginny told him, wrapping him in a hug.</p><p>"Pancakes?" He asked, knowing Lily would appreciate it.</p><p>Ginny smiled, trying not to show how worried she was. She knew he was thinking of his siblings before himself, even in a simple matter such as breakfast. "Of course love." She said, busying herself with making batter.</p><p>James quietly poured himself some coffee and sat beside his father, who was studying The Daily Prophet. "Any news?" James asked.</p><p>Harry didn't need to ask for specifics. He knew what his son was asking. "No." He sighed, putting the paper down. "We are looking though, James, we will find them."<br/>
The fifteen year old nodded, hoping his father was right.<br/>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br/>
"Lils, wake up, Lily!" Albus shook his sister slightly. It was almost ten and he could hear the rest of his family in the kitchen. Her eyes flew open and she jumped away from him with a gasp. "Woah! Lily, it's okay. It's me, Al, we are at home."</p><p>"I-I know. Sorry." She mumbled. "I just-"</p><p>He smiled. "It's okay, I know."</p><p>She returned his smile weakly before getting out of bed. "We should get down stairs."</p><p>When the two youngest Potters arrived in the kitchen, they found their parents and James sitting around the kitchen table and two plates of pancakes waiting for them.</p><p>"Pancakes!" Lily exclaimed happily as she threw herself into a seat and began drenching her favorite breakfast in syrup. "Did you know pancakes date back to the 15th century?"<br/>
Her family laughed.</p><p>"Nope." James said fondly. "I had no clue."</p><p>"Well, did you know you should eat the aforementioned pancakes?" Albus asked, noting his older brother's untouched plate as he covered his own pancakes in syrup.</p><p>"I was just waiting for you two." James stated taking a bite. "These are really good by the way, Mum."</p><p>"Thank you, James." Ginny said, glad he was eating.</p><p>Albus ate his pancake slowly, savoring each bite. Food had been scarce last year and ever since then he'd taken to enjoying everything. Lily, on the other hand, wolfed her food down as if she was still being starved. What was a marvel to Albus was how his older brother appeared to have normal eating habits.<br/>
In the back of his mind Albus none of them were okay, but James seemed so okay. He never had nightmares, no eating problems, nothing. It was almost comforting to know recovery was possible.</p><p>Albus hadn't slept without nightmares for ages. Having Lily helped him at home and, though neither of them would ever acknowledge this, his friend Adam curling up next to him at school did too. It kept him grounded to not be so utterly alone. Lily helped more than Adam did though. Her blind trust in him to keep her safe helped to ease the guilt he felt. Logically he knew that being a Slytherin did not mean he was in any way the same as the Death Eaters, but he couldn't help but hate that he had any connection to them. They had preyed upon the fact that he was a Slytherin too, never hurting him as much as James or even Lily, saying that he was the only one that wasn't a traitor to his blood and he had been too scared to refute them.</p><p>"What do you guys want to do today?" Harry asked as he washed the dishes.</p><p>"I don't know." Came the chorus of replies from his children.</p><p>Honestly, Albus had been diving into his school work so much that he had no idea what to do with his free time now. Knowing Lily, she would probably go and look up random facts or something just to keep herself occupied. He himself would probably read a book or perhaps look in the Potter's ancient basement for odd trinkets. His mother would probably work on an article for The Prophet. Or read Witch Weekly. His dad was sure to work on finding some dark wizard, probably Dolohov. As for James, Albus wasn't sure what James even did in his free time.</p><p>"You want to play some exploding snap or something?" Said older brother suggested.</p><p>"Sure!" Lily chirped. "Sounds fun!"</p><p>"Al?"</p><p>"Of course." He replied.</p><p>"Harry and I will join you three." Ginny declared as her husband nodded.</p><p>Exploding snap had been something of a progress marker for Albus. The first time after returning from France that he had played the card game hadn't gone that well. Teddy and Hugo had come to visit the Potters, who were still in the hospital. Hugo had, as he always did, run straight up to Lily and hugged her tightly. Teddy had flitted between them until he suggested a game of exploding snap. When the cards had burst the first time, Albus had been terrified. It was a stupid thing, he later thought, but the loud bang had made him think of stomping footsteps and slamming doors. Loud sounds that were quickly followed by torture or "challenges".</p><p>So, almost as if he was measuring how much he had recovered, Albus played the game hoping that he wouldn't jump at the boom. Now, he was no longer frightened by the sound, something he was quite proud of.</p><p>Harry dealt out the cards and the game began.</p><p>Maybe Al wasn't as okay as he thought. Or maybe it was just because of the unhappy anniversary. When the cards emitted their usual loud boom, he let out a shout and jumped away.</p><p>Almost immediately, James and Lily were on to him, gripping his hands, anchoring him to reality. Harry and Ginny watched anxiously as their youngest son took one shaky breath after another, visibly fighting whatever memory had resurfaced now.</p><p>To Albus, it was odd. He wasn't flashing back or having a nightmare. He knew where he was, that he was surrounded by those who loved him. It was more like memories.<br/>
Seemingly random thoughts, sounds, and feelings floating in his mind and connecting to form a horrifying jigsaw puzzle of the past.</p><p>"Al," A steady voice said firmly yet kindly, "You are fine. It was exploding snap. Don't think about it. Come on, you can do this. Focus back on us." James's grip was both grounding and comforting.</p><p>"You're doing great!" Lily added encouragingly as Al slowly began to nod. </p><p>His green eyes blinked once before losing their unfocused gaze and he shook himself. "I-I'm fine."</p><p>"No you aren't, and that's okay." James said softly. "But you will be. You've been doing much better."</p><p>Albus smiled weakly. "Could we maybe play something else?"</p><p>There was an immediate chorus of agreement from his family and an old muggle game was brought out.</p><p>Albus couldn't meet their eyes. He felt so ashamed. He thought he was over that petty fear of loud noises and now he felt like a child or a scared animal. That's how the Death Eaters had made him feel. Like a trapped and scared puppy who was constantly fearful. How was James able to be so, so brave? Albus felt like a coward seeing his older brother who had endured more than any of them be so alright. It was comforting, yes, but at the same time he felt jealous. Why couldn't he be so strong?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here is the second chapter. It is a bit shorter but the next one will be longer. Additionally, I have taken some creative liberties in terms of where the Potters live.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <b><br/>
</b>
  </p>
  <p> CHAPTER TWO</p>
</div><b>
  <br/>
</b><p>Harry James Potter strolled into Hogwarts with a purposeful air. He had been meaning to do this for a while now, but he had just gotten the chance. The hallways of the usually packed castle were empty and he knew the way to McGonagall's office by heart. Soon he found himself knocking on a sturdy wooden door at the top of a long staircase. In a moment, the door was thrown open by a familiar woman.</p><p>She did not look too different from when Harry himself had been at school. Still, perhaps that was because he still saw her quite regularly. People tend to not notice changes in another's appearance over short periods of time. McGonagall's once graying black hair was now almost completely gray and there were more wrinkles on her face in addition to the preexisting smile lines and frown lines. She still stood as regally as ever in her emerald green robes and tall witch's' hat. Her green eyes were fixed on him with slight worry in them. "Harry," she smiled. "Good, you're here."</p><p>"Hello, Professor." Harry greeted, entering the office.</p><p>McGonagall led him towards her desk, behind which was the portraits of all the former headmasters and headmistresses of Hogwarts. "I'll let you talk." She whispered, walking away.</p><p>Harry scarcely heard her though. His green eyes were fixed on the piercing blue ones of an old man in a portrait. "Hello, Professor Dumbledore."</p><p>Dumbledore smiled. "Hello. Harry." His smile faded. "I take that things are not going well?"</p><p>Harry scoffed. "I wouldn't be here if they were." He ran a hand through his rumpled hair tiredly. "They aren't getting better. And I know that a year really isn't as long a time as it seems, but I don't know how to help them without knowing what happened. I need to know!"</p><p>Dumbledore continued to look at him pensively. "But you do know."</p><p>"No! I know next to nothing!" Harry exclaimed. "I know they were kidnapped by Death Eaters and tortured. That is it. I don't know why, I don't know what happened, I just don't know! And I want to help them, I really do. They're my children, I love them more than anything and it is killing me to see them like this. What do I do?"</p><p>Dumbledore was silent for a few minutes, studying the stressed man in front of him. "You overestimate me, Harry." He said at last.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"It's quite flattering, I admit." He continued. "But, I do not have the solution to everything."</p><p>"You have no suggestions whatsoever?!" Harry yelped. "Do you not know anything about what could have been so important in France? You have no idea why the Death Eaters made them collect random items?"</p><p>"I have nothing." Dumbledore replied serenely. "Additionally, if they are not prepared to talk about it, I'm not sure how you could learn the details. Unless, of course, you chose to use legilimency or a pensieve."</p><p>"I am not going to invade my children's minds." Harry said coldly.</p><p>"Nor do I expect you to." Dumbledore continued calmly. "I was merely saying." There was another moment of silence. "Harry, you cannot do anything to force them. All you can do is wait until they are ready."</p><p>"I know that." Harry scowled. "They've told me all they can and I wouldn't dream of asking them to do more. I want to know if you know anything about those 'challenges' as Dolohov called them. Surely the Death Eaters needed those items for something."</p><p>"I know nothing. I had not even been to France since Nicholas- you remember Mr. Flamel- died. There was too much going on here in Britain, as you know."</p><p>"So you know nothing?" Harry asked desperately.</p><p>"Nothing." Dumbledore confirmed, his calm expression annoying Harry slightly.</p><p>Harry sighed. "Well, thanks anyway." He was at a loss.</p><p>Dumbledore smiled at him sadly. "It will all work out, Harry." He assured.</p><p>Harry sighed. "Yea, I hope." He gave a half wave to his ex-mentor. "Thank you, professor." He exited the office to find a worried Professor McGonagall waiting for him at the bottom of the staircase.</p><p>"Harry?" She asked, seeing his defeated expression.</p><p>He gave her a half smile. "No theories."</p><p>She sighed. "I had a feeling." She put a hand on his shoulder. "There are a lot of people here to help, Harry." She said. "There is no need to take this all upon yourself again. Perhaps the best thing to do is to simply be there for the children."</p><p>Harry nodded, feeling slightly better. "I suppose you're right as always, Professor."</p><p>She smiled warmly before shooing him away. "Now, don't you have a family gathering to be attending? You mustn't be late."</p>
<hr/><p>Mrs. Molly Weasley threw her arms around her three grandchildren, pulling them close to her and squeezing them tightly. She had taken to doing this every time she saw the three Potter children.</p><p>As soon as they were released, the children dispersed. Lily grabbed Hugo's hand and ran off to a corner of the room where they sat and began to talk with Molly and Dominique, Albus meandered over to Rose, Lucy, and Louis, and James found himself sitting with Teddy in a rather large armchair, vaguely aware of the older boy's conversation with Victoire. His eyes were drooping and he had to keep pinching himself to stay awake. As he sat in the puffy, old, red chair, James's eyes wandered towards Lily and Al occasionally,verifying their safety.</p><p>To keep himself from drifting off, James began to watch everyone else as well, just to give himself something to do. While he did get along well enough with his extended family, (though not as well as Lily and Al), James didn't have the energy to interact and deal with his family treating him like he was fragile. Besides, he was closest to Teddy by far despite the fact that Teddy was much older than him. Teddy was already working with the Ministry to assure rights for werewolves, having graduated from Hogwarts four years ago, and was engaged to Victoire, who had graduated the year after him.</p><p>His hazel eyes shifted to the twins, Fred and Roxanne, both of which were in their final year at Hogwarts. The two were idly sipping from glasses that most definitely contained something stronger than butter-beer as they talked with Frank Longbottom, who was also in his final year. Frank's little siblings, Alice and Sarah, who were both Lily's age, had drifted over to play gobstones with Lorcan and Lysander Scamander, Luna's blond twins who were a year younger than Lily.</p><p>"James?"</p><p>James jumped, looking up at the person who had eye color Teddy had chosen for the occasion was a deep penetrating blue that James found rather unnerving as they looked down at him.</p><p>"Are you alright?" The metamorphmagus asked.</p><p>"Yes, why wouldn't I be?" James replied. He was getting rather tired of being asked that question.</p><p>"You look dead on your feet." Teddy informed him. "And you're falling asleep." There was a hint of concern in his voice.</p><p>"Just a little tired is all." He semi-lied.</p><p>"Did you sleep last night?" Teddy asked, obviously worried.</p><p>James was spared having to answer as Victoire came back towards them, her flowy blonde hair swishing as she walked. "Grandma says it is time for dinner." She informed the groups of children scattered around the all rose to their feet, scuttling towards the kitchen to get some of Mrs. Weasley's amazing food.</p><p>James found himself sitting next to Teddy, picking at some excellent chicken, but feeling rather full without having eaten more than a few bites. All the warmth, good food, and mindless talk was pleasant and James found himself lulled even deeper into his sleepy state. He yawned, forcing another bite of chicken into his mouth. He chewed slowly, relishing the taste, before swallowing and immediately regretting it.</p><p>James put down his fork and leaned back in his chair, wishing the wave of nausea away. He attempted to focus his thoughts off the nausea by once again eavesdropping on various conversations of his relatives. After listening to discussions about boys, girls, muggle TV shows, and other such things, as well as checking on Lily and Al who were sitting on the far end of the table from him, James noticed his father intently whispering to Uncle Ron across the table. "...no sign at all. It's like they've disappeared." Harry was whispering, leaning over to talk into Ron's ear.</p><p>James strained to hear more of the conversation.</p><p>Ron bit his lip worriedly. "...worrying, Harry. I'm hesitant to even let my children out of sight."</p><p>"It's really affecting the kids, especially James." Harry sighed.</p><p>"I can imagine." Ron replied.</p><p>Harry looked troubled. "I just don't think it's over. Death Eaters don't give up…"</p><p>At that moment, a wave of nausea so powerful washed over James and he had no choice but to abruptly stand up, drawing the attention of half of the table. "Bathroom." He muttered, running off. Seconds later found him kneeling in front of the toilet, desperately heaving and retching. The meager contents of his stomach had already exited, but his stomach continued to protest, wracking his thin frame with dry heaves.</p><p>"James!" His mother's worried voice reached his ears. He moaned softly, dry-heaving once more as a soothing hand he recognized as his father's rubbed his back. "Oh, love!" Ginny exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell us you weren't feeling well?"</p><p>"-was feelin' fine." James mumbled. "Think I- think I may have eaten too much."</p><p>"Either way," Ginny said decisively. "we're taking you home."</p><p>"Agreed." Harry rose to his feet, helping James, who had finally stopped retching, up. "Come on, Jamie."</p><p>"'mfine." James tried, but they wouldn't hear it.</p><p>"No, you are obviously not, love." Harry said gently as Ginny put her hand to James's cheek to check for a temperature.</p><p>"You feel a little warm." Ginny worried. At that moment, Ron and Hermione came walking over, concerned by their nephew's sudden departure.</p><p>"What's wrong?" The latter questioned.</p><p>"Is he okay?" Ron added.</p><p>"I think he's getting ill." Ginny replied, helping Harry to escort James to the sofa.</p><p>"Oh dear." Hermione pursed her lips. "Should we take Lily and Al tonight? I have a meeting in the morning, but Ron could bring them home." Despite her very busy schedule as Minister for Magic, Hermione, along with Ron who was Harry's fellow Auror, had devoted a lot of time to finding her nephews and niece and was very attached to them. "I'm sure Hugo and Rose would be thrilled."</p><p>Harry and Ginny exchanged uneasy glances. Especially around this time of year, they were hesitant to have their children out of their radius of protection. If they trusted anyone to protect their children though, it was Ron and Hermione.</p><p>James was starting to feel bad. He just had to go and get sick. He was supposed to be the strong one! And now because of him, Lily and Albus wouldn't be as safe as he'd like. They wouldn't even be at home over their break! "Really," He made an effort to sound less tired than he felt. "I'm perfectly alright." It seemed, however, James's body would not allow him to lie anymore. Even as he uttered the words, his body betrayed his mind and a dull throbbing began in his head. His words came out as a pathetic croak, seemingly doing nothing but convincing the adults of his sickness.</p><p>"I don't know…" Ginny seemed unsure, exchanging another glance with her husband.</p><p>James grabbed his father's hand, looking up at him with pleading eyes. "Please don't send them away." He whispered. "I need to know they're safe."</p><p>Harry looked at him oddly, but nodded. "They won't disturb James" He said, rising from his position of crouching next to James to turn to Ron and Hermione. "No offense, but we just don't want them away from us. More for our peace of mind."</p><p>Ron and Hermione both nodded sympathetically. "No offense taken." Ron assured them.</p><p>"We should get going." Ginny said, her hand sweeping James' hair off his forehead.</p><p>"Mum, I'm fine." James groaned. "I don't want you all missing out."</p><p>"We aren't, don't worry." Ginny assured him.</p><p>"And we aren't stupid." Harry added. "It is very evident that you are not fine."</p><p>James opened his mouth to protest but found himself unable to do so. He really was very, very, tired. "Okay." He murmured meekly.</p><p>"Good boy." Harry ruffled his hair. "Come on, let's get you home."</p><p>Before long, Ginny and Harry had James home and in his bed. Both Al and Lily had been very worried about their older brother and it had taken the three elder Potters a while to convince them that all James' needed was a good sleep.</p><p>"You just rest, go to sleep." Ginny urged after Al and Lily had retired to their own beds. "If you aren't feeling better in the morning, we'll go to St. Mungos." James nodded wearily and they left the room, shutting the light.</p><p>The fifteen year old sighed, more than anything, he really wanted to sleep. To say he was exhausted would be an understatement, his body was screaming at him to just close his eyes and go to sleep. His mind protested, a constant whisper of doubt and insecurity. He wasn't safe when he slept. He couldn't keep anyone safe when he slept. He wasn't strong when he slept. All his walls collapsed when he slept.</p><p>"Maybe they won't though." He thought. "Maybe I really am okay. After all, if I'm able to pretend I'm not affected all this time, I probably just am fine. I'm making too big a deal out of this."</p><p>He would be fine. He was fine.</p><p>With that thought in mind, he closed his eyes and let the dark bliss of sleep overtake him.</p><p>
  <i>BANG.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>James jumped to his feet as the door was thrown open. "What do you want?" He demanded of the entering Death Eaters. They ignored him, one of them simply waving their wand and sending him collapsing back to the floor.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Leave him alone!" Albus piped up bravely. "He just asked a question."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Al, don't." James hissed. "Let me handle it."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The cold, shrill laughter of Alecto filled the air. "He really is like his father, this one." She trilled.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Oh shut up, now's not the time." Dolohov's voice boomed. He turned to the three children. "Munchkins, it's time for your first little challenge."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Lily gave a little squeak, she couldn't do much real magic yet as she hadn't even completed her first year at Hogwarts .</i>
</p><p>
  <i>James rose to his feet again. "I don't understand. What are you gaining from this? Kidnapping us, okay that I sort of get, but why make us do ridiculous things like 'challenges'!?"</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Why you insolent little-" Travers began threateningly, but he was cut off by Dolohov.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Well, we don't want you munchkins getting bored." He drawled sarcastically.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Funny, I've never heard of a kidnapper who cares." James retorted. "Now, I think we deserve to know the truth before we agree to participate in any of this." He liked to pretend they actually had a choice.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>It seemed Dolohov was quite prone to mood swings, suddenly, he waved his wand, sending James flying towards him. Dolohov grasped the scruff of James's shirt, raiding his hand and viciously back-handing the boy in his grasp, sending James's head to the side with a resounding whack. "You don't get to agree."</i>
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  <i>"JAMES!" Lily shrieked as Al gasped.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>James, however, simply turned back to face Dolohov, ignoring the throbbing of his cheek. "Hit me all you want, but at least tell me what you want from me!" He yelled, spitting blood in Dolohov's face.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Dolohov growled like an angry bull, throwing James to the floor before wiping his face. "Fine, you aren't getting out of here anyway. You and your little siblings will be searching for some...important things we need. Books, items, ingredients. Currently, you are in a house which contains all these things."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Why don't you just get them yourselves?" James demanded. "Why have us do it?"</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Let's just say, we have other, more important things to do, and it's much too dangerous for us to be risking. Our lives are, after all, more important."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Are you so incompetent that you need three kids who haven't even finished school to do magic for you?" James sneered.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>With another growl, Dolohov charged forward, kicking out at the boy on the floor. Taken by surprise, James yelped, rolling away.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"What are you going to do!?" James provoked. He was hoping that if he angered the man enough, Dolohov would attack him and let Lily and Albus be. Maybe they wouldn't have to go on any 'challenge' in which one of them could get hurt. He at least wanted time to show Lily a few simple spells. "If you need me to do something you apparently can't do, then what do you think you can do to me?"</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, James's plan worked.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Dolohov shook off Alecto and Travers, once again grabbing James. "Crucio!" </i>
</p><p>"JAMES! JAMES!"</p><p>The black haired boy gasped awake, sitting up quickly, sweat pouring down his face, fear in his wide brown eyes as he grabbed at his glasses and shoved them on his face.</p><p>Harry and Ginny stood at the foot of his bed, concern on their faces.</p><p>"What happened, love?" Ginny asked.</p><p>"N-nothing. I don't know what you're talking about." James replied.</p><p>"Jamie," Harry said carefully. " We just came to check on you...You were crying out."</p><p>"I-I, no I wasn't." He stuttered. " "I'm fine, okay?"</p><p>"James-"</p><p>"I'm fine!" He yelled. "Please, just leave me alone."</p><p>Harry and Ginny exchanged worried looks, an unspoken agreement passing between them. "Okay, love." Harry whispered. "If you need anything, call us, okay?"</p><p>"I'm fine." James repeated.</p><p>As his parents walked out the door, glancing back at him and shutting off the light, James turned away, tears stinging his brown eyes.</p><p>He wouldn't be sleeping tonight. Instead, he wondered. It was something he had been wondering for a very long time. Why? Why did those Death Eaters need those items to be taken from that building? What had been so special about that place, wherever it was? Why would they go through the lengths of capturing three children and torturing them into submission in order to get them? They had not seemed like any sort of dangerous items. Trinkets, spellbooks, vials of potions. So why had they wanted them?</p><p>James absentmindedly ran his hand over his stomach, tracing a long scar that marred it. He had gotten that when he asked the questions that still permeated his mind. It wasn't that he hadn't asked more than once. He had. It had always been risky though. He had never been able to know if they would punish him or his siblings.</p><p>A plan forming in his mind, he waited, wanting to make sure his parents had fallen back to sleep.</p><p>Quietly, he got to his feet, pulling on a hoodie and dressing gown. He grabbed a blanket of his bed and slipped on a pair of slippers, padding softly out of his room and down the stairs. He crept along the dark halls, jumping once or twice at the eerie hooting on one of the owls, until he reached the largest room there was; the library. Before he was born, his father and mother had repaired it along with the rest of his ex-grandfather, and namesake's, family estate. The property had fallen into disrepair after the first James and Lily Potter had fled to Godric's Hollow, but was now restored to its former glory. This was most evident in the grand library, a large room with a high vaulted ceiling, dotted with floating candles. His Aunt Hermione had enchanted it to resemble the Hogwarts ceiling as a house-warming present to Harry and Ginny. The room was lined with floor to ceiling windows, each of which was covered by elegant scarlet curtains that bulged where window seats were. The shelves that filled the room were tall oak ones, filled with books reaching all the way to the top shelves. Ladders were attached to each of these, allowing for the reach of higher up books. In the center was a cozy sitting area near which was a fireplace, embers still glowing in them though the fire had been extinguished.</p><p>Wrapping his blanket around him like a cape, James walked through the library, pulling several books off a shelf. He seated himself in front of the fireplace on a couch, opening the first book to the table of contents. By the time early morning came around, he had fallen asleep on top of a large volume titled 'Wizarding Buildings Through The Centuries!'</p><p>It was a peaceful sleep, for the first time in months.</p>
<hr/><p>The waves crashed against the shore below him making a sound that calmed him usually. Now, however, it only haunted him. Everything seemed so dark. The foggy grey sky was reflected in his matching eyes. His face, platinum hair, and shockingly pale skin were all covered in dark soot. Only one thing seemed bright, the strikingly crimson liquid, dripping from his hands and landing onto the rocky ground underneath him. He stared at it numbly, not wanting to believe it was really there.</p><p>He felt so alone.</p><p>The words echoed in his head as he turned to stare at the choppy sea.</p><p>"Run! Run! Run! Hide in there! Quickly!"</p><p>"I love you. I'm sorry. You can't help me now. Find him. He can help you. Find Harry Potter.</p><p>The boy turned away from the edge of the cliff top and ran.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the late update! This chapter, unfortunately, is also not as long as I had planned, but I thought the end was a good stopping point.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
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  <p>
    <b>CHAPTER THREE</b>
  </p>
</div>"James!" Soft voices reached his ears. "Jamie where are you?"<p>James' hazel eyes fluttered open and he groaned, lifting his head of the large book he'd fallen asleep on. "Wha?" He mumbled, feeling for his glasses. "M'n here!" He called, hoping he was loud enough that whoever was calling for him to hear but not wishing to wake up anyone else.</p><p>Suddenly, the library door burst open and a worried looking Ginny and Harry stepped in.</p><p>"Oh thank god, James." The former breathed, putting her hand over her heart. "We were so worried but we figured you had woken up before us but we couldn't find you!"</p><p>"''M sorry." James blinked sleepily, still feeling around for his glasses. "Fell asleep reading."</p><p>"That's okay, Jamie, we're just glad you're okay." Harry sighed, handing the boy his glasses, which had fallen on the floor next to the couch he was laying on. The elder Potter was pleased that James had slept so soundly, once his worry had abated. That is until he saw what James had been reading; "Wizarding Buildings Through The Centuries!" It seemed that Harry wasn't the only one desperate for answers.</p><p>"Would you like to go up to bed and sleep more?" Ginny asked as her eldest child arose from the couch.</p><p>James gave her a small smile. "Thanks mum, but can I help you make breakfast instead?" The teen was not inclined to lay down in his empty room as he was still wary of his nightmares. After all, one peaceful night did not guarantee all nights would be peaceful.</p><p>The boy, however, did not miss the slightly defeated and worried look on his mother's face. That look was fleeting though, as Ginny quickly smiled. "Well of course love, I'd love it if you'd help."</p><p>Soon the three Potters were in the kitchen. As James and Ginny cooked kippers and bacon and toast, Harry scanned the paper, making comments to the other two.</p><p>"Pathetic." He grumbled. "Why is Rita Skeeter even still allowed to write? She's been slathering The Prophet in gossip about Viktor Krum and some American girl rather than reporting real news."</p><p>Ginny sniffed disapprovingly. "No news regarding Teddy's bill?"</p><p>"It's just barely mentioned." Harry scoffed. "Under current events it states that 'Teddy Lupin, godson to Harry Potter, recently wrote a bill securing working rights for werewolves. The bill has gained more support than expected and was passed late last spring, but goes into effect today.' That's it."</p><p>James scowled. "But she was all over the 'juicy story' when we were taken." He said with uncharacteristic venom.</p><p>Rita Skeeter had relentlessly hounded the children while they were in the hospital before Harry had her barred from visiting them. She had spent hours trying to coerce them into telling her everything they'd experienced so she could write a 'gripping and dramatic piece on the resentment the Potter children felt towards their father after their ordeal'. She had been reasonably miffed when James had rudely told her that they had no anger towards their father whatsoever and instead of writing idiotic lies she could perhaps focus on writing about that fact that Death Eaters were on the loose or take her overly powdered nose out of other people's lives.</p><p>"Oh my god!" Harry suddenly exclaimed, jumping out of his seat.</p><p>"What? What happened?" Ginny asked with concern. Her husband, however, has already dropped the paper and ran to his office.</p><p>James hurried to pick up the abandoned paper and read aloud.</p><p>
  <i>"Muggle authorities at a small town by the English Channel discovered the bodies of two unidentified women late last evening. The bodies were found riddled with several deep cuts and the cause of death was determined to be exsanguination though the authorities were unsure of how. Aurors went to the scene and have confirmed that the persons, killed by the dangerous spell "sectumsempra", were none other than former death eater Narcissa Malfoy and the wife of her son, (former death eater Draco Malfoy), Astoria Malfoy. Draco Malfoy himself was found alive, but bleeding out and immediately transported to St. Mungo's. This tragedy comes only six months after the death of Lucius Malfoy, father of Draco Malfoy who passed of natural causes. Additionally, The Malfoy's fourteen year old son, Scorpius, is nowhere to be found. Read more on page eleven..."</i>
</p><p>"Oh my god!" Ginny gasped. Draco and Harry had made their peace, even attending each other's weddings and exchanging occasional correspondence, but Ginny was less forgiving, though she did respect Malfoy's eventual turn to light. Regardless of her feelings for the Malfoys, no one deserved such a horrid fate and there was only one group of people ruthless enough to murder like that.</p><p>"I-it's them, isn't it?" James' voice shook though he tried to keep it steady. Images of Dolohov were filling his head and his ears rang with the sound of the man whispering the curse.</p><p>Ginny opened her mouth, unsure what to say. "Jamie-"</p><p>"I'm going to go lie down." James said abruptly. "Please don't tell Lily and Albus." His voice was tinged with desperation. "They can't know."</p><p>Ginny simply nodded.</p><p>As James made for the stairs, Harry emerged from his office, where James assumed he had been sending an owl to Draco due to the feathers and ink on his shirt. "Jamie-" The father began but James simply shook his head and ran up the steps.</p>
<hr/><p>James was barely aware of where he was going. His feet took him almost automatically to his bedroom and he shut the door behind him. The boy paused for a moment, trying and failing to compose himself before collapsing onto the bed. James pulled the covers over his head as if trying to physically hide from his thoughts. He curled closer into himself, shaking as memory after memory assaulted him.</p><p>
  <i>"Sectumsempra!"</i>
</p><p>Dolohov's voice.</p><p>He cried out, feeling his skin slicing open as crimson blood trickled down his stomach.</p><p>Blood everywhere.</p><p>The Death Eaters had wanted to be careful as they worried that too much of the cruciatus curse would cause the children to lose their minds. Therefore, they had found new ways of torturing them. Sectumsempra had been one of their favourites, especially to use on James.</p><p><i>"Let's see how scarlet Gryffindors bleed."</i> They'd taunt.</p><p>And right when he would be ready to just accept the sweet release of unconsciousness, or death, or whatever, they would heal the wounds and leave him to gather himself in a pool of his blood, lightheaded and weak.</p><p>In some ways James found it worse than the cruciatus curse. Physically, yes the cruciatus course was unparalleled in causing pain. Mentally, however, there was something undeniably horrific about watching blood seep from his body, feeling the strength leave him, and then being left to clean up the mess. He never felt quite whole again after being exposed to that curse.</p><p>They had started with diffendo, using it to cut his skin open with small, shallow cuts. Soon, however, that hadn't been enough; James hadn't been frightened and neither had Al and Lily. Sectumsempra had been introduced instead within a month.</p><p>They had been sent on one of the 'challenges' and had failed to retrieve the item. James had tried to keep his siblings safe by climbing a rather tall structure himself to reach a door that led to an old spell-book. While he'd been climbing, however, Al had inadvertently triggered a booby trap that had knocked him out and released a swarm of doxies. Lily had started screaming and James had had no choice but to descend and run to them, leaving the book behind. The Death Eaters had blamed Lily and in a desperate attempt to protect his sister and maybe even to escape, James had attempted to hex Dolohov and Travers. Needless to say, Dolohov had not been pleased.</p><p>James' fingers unconsciously tracing a scar on his stomach as he tried his hardest to will away the surge of unpleasant memories, but it wouldn't work.</p><p><i>"Beg for it."</i> Dolohov had hissed, watching the blood pour from James, body. <i>"Beg me to heal you. Beg me to not watch you bleed out and die slowly. Do it!" </i></p><p>The pain was too much, the blood was everywhere. What would Al and Lily do? He didn't want to die, he wasn't ready. "P-please!" He let out a strangled cry from under his covers. "No more, please no more."</p><p>James gripped his covers tightly and shut his eyes. He couldn't tell if he was falling asleep or passing out, but he couldn't bring himself to fight against either.</p><p>"Please." He whispered as it all went black.</p>
<hr/><p>Harry sighed, staring after his eldest for a moment before dragging himself back to the kitchen, running a hand through his messy hair. "This is bad." He muttered more to himself than to Ginny. He glanced back towards the stairs. "He's not okay."</p><p>Ginny shook her head. "He knows it was them. Asked me not to tell Al and Lily."</p><p>"Well of course we won't!" Harry exclaimed. "It's bad enough that James knows." He sighed, burying his face in his hands. "They don't deserve this, Ginny."</p><p>Ginny reached up to rest her hand on her husband's cheek. "No one does."</p><p>Harry smiled at her softly, leaning into her touch before pulling back. "I'm going to go check on him." He told her, sounding more confident than he felt.</p><p>Ginny looked hesitant. "He did seem to want space…" It was obvious she was concerned though. "But I can't bear the thought of him alone up there." She sighed. "Go on Harry. You both need this."</p><p>Harry nodded, pressing a kiss to his wife's lips before heading upstairs. While the downstairs part of the Potter House was vast, the upper level was less extensive. It consisted of a small sitting room with two hallways on either side. The five Potters and Teddy all had bedrooms clustered together down one of the long hallways while the other hallway held multiple guest bedrooms with attached bathrooms. Harry hurried along to James' room, pausing to knock. As he raised his fist to do so, however, a strangled, but soft, cry reached his ears causing him to stop short of knocking.</p><p>"Please!" James' voice begged. "No more, please no more!"</p><p>Harry stood outside the door, his heart sinking as he heard his son's plea. Suddenly, he felt very inadequate and unsure. He had come upstairs with the full intention of reassuring James that everything would be alright and urging him to open up, but he couldn't. Not after hearing his strong, brave, boy beg in his sleep, obviously trapped in nightmares. How could he convince him everything would be alright when it was all in pieces? Harry couldn't bear to hear more. Instead, he turned and walked to the next room where Albus slept peacefully.</p><p>Al's room was painted green, a colour he had taken too only after being sorted into Slytherin. Following his kidnapping, however, Albus had requested that the colour be changed to a softer light green rather than the emerald green of the Slytherin house. The youngest Potter boy's previous love of Gryffindor was subtly evident in the odd bit of red on the ceiling or the large stuffed lion on the dresser. Not as subtly advertised was Al's love of certain things. Displayed on large posters were The Chudley Cannons, (Ron had been ecstatic), along with Slytherin pennants and pictures of Al with friends and family. A corner contained a desk piled high with books ranging from books on defense artifacts (a recent hobby of Al's) to textbooks to chess strategy books. Perched carefully on a table in the corner of the room was a glass chess set on a mahogany table.</p><p>Al himself was sound asleep in his large queen bed, curled up under his covers. Harry moved closer to look down at his son, stroking his hair and noticing the tear tracks on the boy's face; evidence of a nightmare. Still, it calmed him to see that Al was sleeping so peacefully.</p><p>Harry sighed, quietly exiting the room and tip-toeing into Lily's room next doors. Lily was his little princess and her room reflected it. From the purple walls to the floral covers and decals to the lace canopy over her bed, Lily's room was perfect for a little girl, though Harry knew she would soon grow out of it. Stuffed animals were carefully set up around the room with Lily's favourite, a stuffed hippogriff, tight in her arms as she slept. While Al's room was covered in posters, Lily's walls only held a few small pictures and a Ravenclaw pennant. A cage containing her pet pygmy puff which she had creatively named Tiny sat in one corner opposite three large bookcases all packed with books.</p><p>"Wh-who's there?" Lily's voice shook.</p><p>Harry started, he hadn't realised she'd been awake. "It's Daddy," he soothed. "I just wanted to check on you. Did you sleep well?"</p><p>Lily shrugged. "Okay I guess."</p><p>Harry sighed, stepping forward to kiss his daughter's forehead. "Try to get some more sleep princess." He urged, walking out as she happily snuggled back under her covers.</p><p>Harry sighed again, running a hand through his hair before returning to the kitchen where his wife waited.</p><p>"Is he okay?" Ginny asked, knowing James probably wasn't.</p><p>Harry opened his mouth, unsure what to say. "I-I didn't talk to him Gin. I went and checked on Al and Lily instead. I wanted to go talk to James but I couldn't cause it broke my heart." Harry rambled. "Ginny he was begging! He was begging them not to hurt him, in his sleep!" Harry collapsed onto a chair and buried his head in his hands. "I don't know what to do."</p><p>Ginny sighed and sat down opposite him, gently pulling his hands from his face and holding them. "Harry, love. What did you want someone to do for you?"</p><p>Harry blinked at her. "What're you talking about?"</p><p>Ginny smiled softly but sadly. "Harry, we could all hear you. We all knew. At Grimmauld place, when you'd scream in your sleep and thrash around all terrified. At the Burrow after Sirius died and you'd beg for him to come back. We never knew what to do, I'm sure your aunt and uncle didn't give a shit, so what would you've wanted?"</p><p>Harry thought for a moment. It had been a while since he even dared to think about the crushing nightmares he'd faced of the Graveyard and the Department of Mysteries. How had he dealt in the moment? For Ginny was right, he'd been a mess. Then again, there had been so much going on, he'd never really had time to grieve and cope. It struck him that he had behaved somewhat similarly to how James was; he had pushed his feelings away and delved into solving other problems. He hadn't had much of a choice though. So what would he have wanted had he given himself the time to recover? What would have helped him?</p><p>"Sirius." He whispered. "I never told him about the nightmares, didn't want him to worry, he was so stressed and busy with The Order." Harry explained. "But one night, it was too much. I-I had an awful nightmare and it felt so real and I was terrified. I don't know how or why but I ended up in Sirius' room in considerable distress. He didn't ask what happened or anything like that. He just sort of held me and let me cry it out until I fell asleep. That was the only time, but I always wished I could have it again. I felt like a child, but it was alright at that time, it felt so… safe. It felt like I could do or say whatever I wanted and I knew he wouldn't judge me."</p><p>Harry looked down, remembering Sirius whispering to him as he sobbed into his shoulder, terrified by memories of Voldemort torturing him. He remembered stuttering out apologies for being so weak and only being answered by Sirius sternly pulling his chin so their eyes met. <i>"Harry James Potter don't you ever say you're weak because you're scared. Any man twice your age would be just as terrified and if you need to cry and scream then you do it because you deserve to. I don't ever want to hear you say that again."</i></p><p>Ginny pulled him into a close embrace and he allowed his hands to settle on her hips. "I know you don't think you can do it, but Harry, that's all James needs, that's all any of them need, but especially him. He needs to know it's okay for him to break and to seek comfort and he needs to know that whenever he wants that comfort, we're here."</p><p>Harry nodded. "You're right, love." He cracked a small smile, "as always."</p>
<hr/><p>
  <i>He was back again. Back in that room. Right in the middle of it feeling as if he was in the spotlight at the world's most disturbing show.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Hello little Gryffindor." A familiar voice purred. "And good morning to the other munchkins too." Suddenly Lily and Al were beside him. Lily's lip was split and she nursed a large burn on her left arm while her right ankle seemed bent in the wrong way. Al sported a black eye and cuts on his neck and face. "We're going to have some fun today. A little reward for completing that little task for me yesterday." Dolohov's voice was too cheery, too calm.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>James tried to push his siblings away but he couldn't move. It was as if he had suddenly become completely paralysed.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Oh but wait!" Dolohov continued, a tinge of malice creeping into his voice. "You failed!" He exclaimed, a creepy smile on his face. "And failure must be punished you know."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>James again struggled to move to defend his siblings but he couldn't. What was happening? Had they put him in a body bind? What were they going to do to him? More importantly, what were they going to do to Lily and Al?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Well actually." Dolohov continued, walking closer to where James was knelt on the floor. "Not all of you failed. It was just you!" He hissed pointing at James. Suddenly, it wasn't Dolohov standing in front of him with his wand drawn, it was his father, his features marred by disgust.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"How could you let them do this to your siblings?" Harry sneered. "Why didn't you fight back?"</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Because he's weak!" Ginny appeared beside her husband. "He's a coward!" She glared at James. "They hurt my babies. They broke Al's arm and tortured Lily. It's your fault this happened. Lily and Al got hurt because of you, because you didn't protect them!"</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He screamed, fighting back tears.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Some Gryffindor you are, crying and begging like a child." Harry snorted. "I would never have even let them keep me for so long! I would have kept others safe!" He exchanged a glance with his wife. "You're no son of ours." </i>
</p><p>"Please!" James sobbed, shutting his eyes tightly to try to stop the tears. "It's all my fault! I'm so sorry! It's all my fault!"</p><p>Suddenly there was a warm hand on his forehead, sweeping through his hair. "Jamie! Love wake up! Jamie please, it's not your fault!" The voice sounded desperate but kind. James was confused and frantic. Where was he? Who was this? Why was everything dark? "C'mon Jamie. It's a dream, you're okay, love." The voice said. James' eyes fluttered. "There we go love. Everything's alright." The voice urged.</p><p>James opened his eyes to make out the blurry image of concerned green orbs peering down at him from behind a pair of round spectacles. "D-dad?" He asked, his voice trembling. Did his father still hate him?</p><p>"Yea Jamie." Harry replied, squeezing his son's hand.</p><p>"Y-you- but the house- and Mum and…" his father cut him off.</p><p>"Shh Jamie. It was a dream. Just a nightmare." Harry soothed. He was struggling to keep his composure. The father had gone back up to James' room after talking to Ginny with the full intention of letting his son know he was there for him. However, he had found a petrified James, crying out and sobbing as he whispered something over and over again, hiding under the covers and asleep with his glasses still on. Harry had felt his heart shatter again when he had moved close enough to hear James. The words echoed in his head: "It's all my fault, I'm so sorry it's all my fault…" He had almost lost his nerve, but the reminder of his wife's assurances had motivated him.</p><p>The two Potters were silent for a moment. Then, quietly, James spoke. "Thank you." He whispered, squeezing his father's hand back.</p><p>Harry allowed a soft smile to grace his lips. Maybe, just maybe, he could make his son understand that he was there for him, that he didn't need to be strong. "Anytime, Jamie. Anything, anytime."</p>
<hr/><p>Draco Malfoy was broken. His wife was dead, his parents were dead, and his son, oh his son! He felt empty, desolate, like nothing would ever be okay again- how could it be after what he had just lost? He had worked so hard to repair his life, piece by piece, to assemble himself into a semblance of a man from the shattered horror of his childhood and to give Scorpius something so much better. Now, it was all gone, his fragile happiness lay in a million pieces.</p><p>The Aurors at the scene had told him not to give up hope, but how could he not? He knew that if his son had found Harry as he'd hoped, he'd have heard by now. Harry wouldn't have kept it from him. So how was a man who had lost the things that gave him hope supposed to hope?</p><p>"Oh Astoria." He muttered to the bleak sky outside his hospital window, staring at the stars that were starting to appear as the sun set. His wife loved- had loved- stars. She would go into their backyard with a picnic blanket and just lie down and stare at them for hours. He had always laughed at how cliche it was that she loved stars and was named for them and told her he didn't need any stars other than her, but he'd still always joined her. Part of him hoped that maybe she was one of those stars he was staring out the window at. "What am I to do, love? What am I to do without you, without our son? Help me Astoria." He sobbed. "Please."</p><p>Draco Malfoy had never believed in divinity or miracles, his life had been too full of harsh realities for that, but that changed at that very moment as he saw an owl flying to his window. He threw it open to allow the bird in, desperately grabbing the note.</p><p>
  <i>Draco,</i>
</p><p>
  <i>We will find them. Together. You have my word. I'll be in touch.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Harry </i>
</p><p>Suddenly, the stars seemed just a little bit brighter.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter Four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry, it took a bit. By the way, my takes on Snape and Malfoy are somewhat evident in this. In my opinon, there is a difference in them because Snape let his bitterness take over him and (in this story at least) Malfoy strove to become better. Also, Malfoy was pressured into joining the Death Eaters (to a certain extent) while Snape somewhat chose to even though he claimed to love Lily who was a muggle-born. Everyone is entitled to their opinion on the characters, obviously, and I am as well so please no hate.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>CHAPTER FOUR</b>
  </p>
</div>Harry was miffed, annoyed, absolutely positively irked, mostly at himself. Ginny had the foresight to hide the newspaper on the day they found out about the attack on the Malfoys to make sure Al and Lily didn't find out. What they hadn't thought of was that the newspaper was likely to keep printing news about the Malfoys. Usually this wouldn't be an issue; Lily and Al were never the first ones up so the paper could be disposed of without question as neither cared much for reading it. Of course, things had to be unusual in the Potter house. Really it had been a string of unusualities that led to Harry's predicament.<p>First, for some reason, (probably a nightmare), Al had woken up before anyone else which he almost never did. Naturally, Al had gone to the kitchen to put a kettle on for tea. Then, of course, the paper just had to arrive early on the one day Albus was the one to be awake early and pay the owl that delivered it. On top of that, the one time Harry wouldn't have wanted his youngest son to read the news, (Al usually didn't read the news), he chose to.</p>
<p>Al had, coincidentally, spotted an ad in the paper for a book he was thinking of buying Lily for the holidays and brought the paper with him into the drawing room. It just so happened that the ad was right next to an update on the Malfoy family. Al's eyes had seen the words 'Death eaters' and immediately he read the article which recapped what had happened to the Malfoys and discussed theories. So when Harry and Ginny had entered the drawing room half an hour later, they found their youngest son sitting on the sofa, staring at a newspaper article on the one thing they didn't want him to know about.</p>
<p>"Albus?" Ginny asked softly. "Love are you okay."</p>
<p>"Were you going to tell us?" The boy asked sharply.</p>
<p>Harry and Ginny exchanged a look before the former spoke. "Al." He started placatingly. "We thought- I thought it would only hurt more than help." He and Ginny had argued the previous evening about whether they should tell at least Al if not Lily. Harry had been adamant that they didn't need to know but his wife had said that they had a right to know and it may help them protect themselves. In the end, however, Ginny had given in after Harry had brought up James' reaction.</p>
<p>"So you weren't going to tell us." Al snapped. He was still sitting on the sofa, his eyes fixed on the paper laying on the coffee table.</p>
<p>"We discussed it and in the end decided not to tell you and Lily. Yes." Ginny spoke calmly. Despite her fiery temper, she was usually better at being blunt but tactful while Harry tended to get awkward and anxious.</p>
<p>"James found out accidentally. He got pretty upset." Harry added, hoping to be helpful, though Ginny's look implied he was not.</p>
<p>Al's body tensed. "Of course he did." The kettle's high pitched whistle sounded from the kitchen and Al rose to his feet and shoved past his parents towards the kitchen. "Albus!" Harry exclaimed as Ginny sighed.</p>
<p>"I know you're upset but that is no excuse to be rude, young man!" The red-head scolded. "Now sit down and we will talk about this rationally."</p>
<p>"C'mon Al!" Harry wheedled, following his son and wife. "You can talk to us!"</p>
<p>Albus ignored both of them, instead choosing to angrily slam a cupboard door shut after grabbing a mug for his tea. His force was such that several of the cups and mugs in the cupboard shook, tinkling as they hit each other.</p>
<p>"Albus Severus-" Ginny began but was cut off by her son throwing his mug on the ground.</p>
<p>"Don't call me that!" Al screamed. Harry was suddenly thankful that he and Ginny had opted to put a charm on the top floor of their house to assure that nothing going on downstairs would be heard in the bedrooms. "Don't you dare call me by his name!"</p>
<p>"What!?" Harry was confused, but Ginny had furrowed her eyebrows. "Which name?"</p>
<p>Albus had tears pooling in his green eyes, his face slightly red with anger as he spit out "Severus." His temper seemed to dissipate and be replaced by despair. "The paper, it-it said 'The dangerous spell used, sectumsempra, was invented by the late Hogwarts professor, head master, and Death Eater spy S-se-'" He was unable to finish the quote, his breath coming out in heaves as he threw himself onto a chair by the kitchen table, burying his face in his arms as he shook with sobs.</p>
<p>Ginny seemed to break in front of Harry. Her eyes closed briefly and a tear made its way down her freckled face as she sat next to Al, pulling him into a hug. "I'm sorry love." She soothed, still blinking back her own tears.</p>
<p>Al looked up at his father, removing himself from his mother's embrace. "Why?" He asked Harry; his voice was hoarse but still angry. "Why would you name me after someone who would create such a horrible thing?"</p>
<p>Harry sighed, sitting as well so his son was between him and Ginny. "He was a flawed man but he was my mother's friend. He, well, he did what was right in the end." Harry shrugged sheepishly. "Your mother wasn't happy about that middle name either." He admitted.</p>
<p>Ginny mimicked his sigh. "Al, honey, I didn't like the man. At all." She had never been one to sugar coat. "But he was not all evil. He was a man. He did some horrid things and some good things because that's just how people are. They're not perfect and he was far from it. But a person's sins don't mean we don't respect the good in them. I choose to believe you were named after what little good and honour there was in Severus Snape, not the part of him that came up with this horrid spell."</p>
<p>"Your mum's right, Al." Harry added. He never thought he'd see the day that Ginny would be somewhat defending Severus Snape, (she'd been far from pleased at his idea for Al's middle name), but there they were. "Having his name doesn't mean anything but we won't use it if you don't want us to."</p>
<p>Al was silent for a moment. "They used it on him you know. On James." His voice was soft. "They used sectumsempra instead of the cruciatus curse so he wouldn't go mad."</p>
<p>Harry hadn't known that. He and Ginny had seen the scars all over James' body, of course, but neither had even thought of sectumsempra in their worst nightmares. The physical pain of it was bad enough but Harry was sure the psychological damage was deep. "Oh god." Ginny whispered, voicing his thoughts.</p>
<p>"It was only ever on him though." Albus continued, apparently oblivious to his parents' reactions. "Never on Lily or I. They threatened Lily once but we stopped them. They never even thought about doing it to me. They didn't want to spill Slytherin blood." He scowled. "But I'm not like them. Slytherins aren't like them. It's not a blood thing it's just a house. I am not like them." He seemed to be trying to convince himself.</p>
<p>Harry glanced at his wife who still seemed to be processing what Al had revealed. Seeing she was vulnerable, Harry spoke instead. "Al you are nothing like them. Ambition and cunning are the Slytherin traits, not evil. Being in Slytherin is the only thing you have in common with them." He wasn't as good as Ginny at being reassuring, but it appeared that he had been at least somewhat helpful as Al gave him a small smile.</p>
<p>Still, while the situation had been somewhat resolved with Albus, it had become obvious that Lily would have to be told as well. She'd taken it better than they had anticipated; while she had shook like a leaf she hadn't broken down. Ginny, on the other hand, had sobbed into Harry's chest the night after finding out James had been tortured with sectumsempra. Usually she was the one more able to keep it together. While Harry hated seeing his wife so upset, he was glad she allowed herself to be vulnerable as well. He knew she was trying to be strong for him and to help him to not feel guilty, he was glad to be able to help her as well. He knew he wasn't the only one struggling with how to help their children.</p>
<p>Still, it was obvious that the news was affecting the Potter children quite a lot more than it affected their parents. Lily had become increasingly moody, (though Ginny assures him it wasn't just about the kidnapping but also something all girls go through which he, embarrassingly, hadn't understood at first), and withdrawn, spending less time with her family and more with her nose in a romance novel or encyclopedia that she claimed made life easier to ignore. Al was restlessly pacing around the house or pursuing the basement, seemingly lost in his own world and refusing to say what exactly he'd been thinking about. Harry had noticed that he had torn up a monogrammed shirt, however, apparently still not at peace with his middle name. Harry had hoped that his brief heart-to-heart with James following the younger's nightmare would have urged his son to open up and talk to anyone about how he was (or wasn't) coping, especially after having learned that James had been exposed to that curse. It appeared there was no such luck; a week had gone by and James had returned to his previous masked self, spending an inordinate amount of time in the library. He had blatantly stonewalled any attempts to talk about or even admit to having been cursed with sectumsempra.</p>
<p>Teddy had come by almost every day as well. Despite his generally pacifistic and calm nature, Teddy was probably more angry than Harry at times. Dolohov had taken so much from him and Teddy couldn't bear to think about how close he came to loosing James, Al, and Lily who were basically his younger siblings. Granted, Harry had forbidden him from helping to look for Dolohov, convincing him to leave that to the aurors and elder adults. Instead, Teddy had taken it upon himself to try and be there for his 'siblings' by turning up and distracting then with games and stories. All three Potter children were significantly more cheerful when Teddy was around. Harry had even wondered if Teddy may have been able to get James to open up, but there had been no such luck. Rather, the three Potter children acted almost normal when Teddy was around to distract them, (though they did not laugh and smile as much), but as soon as he left all three slipped back to their usual moodiness.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, despite having a room in the Potter house that was always open to him, Teddy had declined the Potter's invitation to move in as he didn't want to leave his grandmother alone. He had, however, suggested that letting the Potter children spend a few days at Shell Cottage, (which he and Victoire were planning on moving into with Andromeda as Bill and Fleur had long since relocated to the Burrow), might help them. Harry had to admit he was tempted despite his reservations of letting his children out of his sight. After all, Shell Cottage was peaceful and the beach was calming, but Harry coulnd't help but think of it as Dobby's grave. He felt like something needed to be done though. Nothing was changing and nothing was moving forward and it made Harry more frustrated than he'd ever remembered being.</p>
<p>Now it was four days before Christmas and nothing had changed. Lily was still moody, Al was still restless, James was still closed off, and Scorpius Malfoy was still missing. The only new development was Harry's constant communication with Draco. The man was being discharged later that day and Harry had promised he'd pop in for a visit before. He was also hoping to convince Draco to come back with him to the Potter's house. To his surprise, Ginny had suggested it but he had agreed readily; after all it would make collaborating on finding the Death Eaters easier, and nobody, not even Draco Malfoy, should have to be alone during the holidays. They'd talked it over with the children who'd seemed okay with it, thought Harry felt it was impossible to tell how any of his children were really feeling.</p>
<p>"I'm off Ginny!" He called, shrugging on a coat.</p>
<p>"Okay darling!" Came her reply from the kitchen where she was working on a piece on the most recent quidditch game for The Prophet.</p>
<p>"Can I come?" A voice asked. Harry glanced behind him to see his eldest leaning against the wall, glasses askew and lanky frame in a too large jumper and jeans. "Lily's reading that book Teddy gave her and Al's napping." James continued. "Plus, maybe I could help." He added softly. "At least reassure him."</p>
<p>Harry sighed. Trust his son to always want to play the hero. "I dunno Jamie…"</p>
<p>"Dad, Scorpius is a good kid. He's in my house and I don't know him too well, but he's a good kid. I want to- I need to do something. And-and well", he whispered, "no one deserves it. No one should ever have to be… there any longer than can be avoided."</p>
<p>Harry sighed again, whimsically remembering Ron telling him if he kept sighing he was going to forget how to breathe normally. "Alright Jamie, go get your coat."</p>
<p>Minutes later found the father and son trudging down a London street towards the ratty closed shop that was St. Mungos from muggle view. They were both silent, lost in their own thoughts as the snow fell lightly on them. Harry found himself analysing his son.</p>
<p>The teenager was walking with his head down, seemingly transfixed by his footprints in the dusting of snow that covered the ground. His lips were drawn into a small frown and his eyebrows were slightly furrowed, but his expression was otherwise unreadable. James always seemed to have that drawn look on his face. Harry's eyes scanned his son's frame, noting the way the jumper and coat hung off him and the dark bags under his eyes beneath his glasses; but Harry had noted those concerns a thousand times. What frustrated him was that it wasn't changing.</p>
<p>"Dad, where're you going?" James' voice shook Harry out of his thoughts and he realised he'd almost walked right past the hospital.</p>
<p>"Sorry, lost in thought." He muttered, following his son into the hospital and approaching the reception desk. "Here to see Draco Malfoy please."</p>
<p>Soon, the two Potters were trudging into one of the small private rooms of the hospital. The room was brightly lit and warm, though something seemed so cold about it; an air of misery seemed to permeate the sterile area. Draco was standing by the window, staring out at the cloudy sky with empty grey eyes, his usually impeccable blond hair a mess and his stance defeated. "Hello Harry." he muttered sounding as hollow as he looked as he continued to stare out the window.</p>
<p>"Draco?" Harry asked softly. "Are you alright?"</p>
<p>"Of course I'm not!" The other man snapped, turning around to face them. His eyes landed on James and widened in surprise. "James." He said quietly. "I didn't expect you here."</p>
<p>"Hello Mr. Malfoy." James offered a small, sad, smile. "I thought I could help maybe." He shrugged, looking slightly unsure.</p>
<p>Draco's eyes softened. "Thank you."</p>
<p>Harry cleared his throat. "Draco… I think you should come with us. To our home." He chose not to beat around the bush. Draco raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. "It'll be easier for us to work together to find your son." Harry continued. "Ginny and the kids agree."</p>
<p>Draco continued to look doubtful. "Harry… thank you, but I-" He looked at James. "You need to be with your family."</p>
<p>Harry sighed. It seemed so difficult to associate the broken man in front of him with the cocky teenager he had once hated with a burning passion. Now, however, he couldn't hate Draco Malfoy if he tried; the man just seemed so pitiful, lost and lonely. "So do you." He said softly.</p>
<p>It was if he could see Draco physically breaking; the man's face tightened, his eyes closed, and his body sagged as he sat heavily on the hospital bed. "They're all gone Harry!" He cried. "Don't you get it? They're all dead! Because of what I did when I was a stupid child! My parents, my wife! They're gone!" He yelled. "All of them!"</p>
<p>"Not all of them." Harry reminded him quietly. "They're not all dead."</p>
<p>Suddenly, Draco roughly pulled up his shirt, exposing his stomach. Harry found himself looking at the dark marks that stood out on the man's extremely pale skin; evidence of his ordeal. "This is what they did to me!" Draco shouted. "This is how they left me! Bleeding out in my foyer with my son hiding in the fireplace, watching! And it wasn't at all like when you did it accidentally in school. This was deliberate and so much more painful! This was deeper, this scarred!" His face had acquired a pinkish tinge that Harry knew was a sign of Draco's anger, but his voice held only anguish. "Do you really think that they left him alive!?" The man continued his rant. "He watched me bleed out, he tried to save me and stop the bleeding. He was sitting there sobbing with my blood on his hands as I faded away! I told him to find you! Do you honestly believe they would leave him alive!? Do you think that if this is what they did to a grown man that they would leave a fourteen year old alive?!" Tears were streaming down Draco's face as he shook, either from sadness, anger, or both.</p>
<p>There was silence. Harry was unsure of what to say that would offer comfort to the man in front of him. After all, the man had a point. Then, a quiet voice spoke. "They left me alive." Both men turned to face James, who was standing in a corner; it was as if they had forgotten he was there until then.</p>
<p>"James…" Harry started, but his son ignored him.</p>
<p>"They left me alive Mr. Malfoy. I was fourteen too. They left me alive, and Al, and Lily. We're all here."</p>
<p>"James…" Harry said again softly.</p>
<p>"Dad, can I talk to Mr. Malfoy alone, please?" James asked.</p>
<p>Harry looked at him with uncertainty. "Jamie I-"</p>
<p>"Please Dad?" James whispered. "Please."</p>
<p>Harry found himself unable to say no. "I-I'll be right outside." He said instead.</p>
<p>James watched as his father stepped out of the room and shut the door behind him. He took a deep breath before slowly moving to sit in a chair across from his father's ex-enemy. He'd always heard his dad tell stories of Draco Malfoy in school. The fights Malfoy and he got in, the way Aunt Hermione had punched Malfoy and made his nose bleed, the pranks they played with the invisibility cloak. He also knew all about what Mr. Malfoy had watched happen to his Aunt Hermione all those years ago. Though he'd met the man as an adult a few times, they had been brief and James' impression of the man had been largely built upon stories told by his mother and father. Of course, this had led to James seeing the man beside him as a fairly unsavoury character. Now though, James didn't see the arrogant bully his father had described, he saw a shattered man who lost everything he held dear and a soul that had all but given up. And he knew how that felt. "I wanted to give up too." He said quietly.</p>
<p>Draco removed his face from his hands and looked up at him, but said nothing.</p>
<p>James sighed and lifted the hem of his jumper slightly, just exposing a strip of skin, but it was hard not to notice the long line that ran along the thin stomach. It wasn't quite as dark as Draco's scars, having obviously been fading with time, but it still stood out vividly on the boy. However, James quickly lowered his jumper, not allowing Draco more than a few seconds to take in the marred skin on his stomach. "It was a favourite of theirs." James stated, trying to push the memories to the back of his mind, which was always easier to do when he was helping someone else and therefore focused on a bigger problem than his own. "They'd leave me there in a pool of blood, all healed up. I really really did want to give up. I wanted to just lay there and faint or die, but I didn't. I couldn't." James continued. He wasn't sure what was compelling him to share this with a man who was almost a complete stranger, but he'd sworn he'd do whatever it took to bring the Death Eater's to justice, so here he was. "See, Lily and Al were depending on me. They needed me to keep them safe and get them out of there, so I couldn't give up. Maybe I gave up on myself, but I couldn't give up on them." He paused, swallowing and suddenly feeling very uncomfortable by the whole situation. Sure, he'd told his father they used this particular curse, but never the details and only after his parents had found out from Al. Not like this. But Draco was looking slightly less miserable and, ignoring the sympathy in his gaze, (as James chose to do), a bit more hopeful. "So- so don't give up on Scorpius. He's a good kid. He needs you to not give up on him. Just like they needed me." With that, the boy got to his feet and fled the room, muttering about going to get fresh air and ignoring as his father called out after him.</p>
<p>Harry watched, bewildered, as his son ran off after calling "Fresh air." over his shoulder. "James!" He paused for a moment before deciding that while his son could use some time alone, Draco Malfoy probably couldn't. He knocked, not waiting for an answer before entering the man's room again.</p>
<p>Draco was still sitting on the bed, but he seemed more determined. Harry dared to hope that whatever it was that James had told Draco had managed to convince the latter. "I'll come Harry." The man said simply. "Thank you."</p>
<p>Harry nodded. He found himself unsurprised; James seemed to be surprising him daily so it was no longer unexpected. "What did he say, Draco?" He asked softly. "He won't tell me anything. I know they used that- that curse on him, but-" Draco cut him off.</p>
<p>"He said he wanted to give up." The man stated, packing his things. "But he didn't and neither should I." He turned around to face Harry, bag in hand. "That is some son you've got there, Harry." Draco sighed.</p>
<p>Harry mimicked his sigh. "Yea, I know." <i>"I just wish he did."</i> He added to himself.</p>
<hr/>
<p>It was two evenings before Christmas at the Potter house and it was definitely turning out to be better than the previous year, not that the bar was very high on that. Harry and Draco, (who had settled in well despite having only arrived a day or two prior), were in the former's study, pouring over articles from every news source they could. Ginny was finishing an article in her room while Lily, Al, and James messily decorated a heap of holiday cookies in the kitchen with Teddy who had come to visit for the evening. The four were surreptitiously sneaking crumbs into their mouths and getting just as much icing on themselves as the cookies.</p>
<p>"Lily you look like a leprechaun!" Al chuckled, wiping some green icing off of Lily's face. "You've even managed to get it in your hair and let me just say, it's so not a good look." It was true, the bright green icing in Lily's red hair made it look rather like tacky wrapping paper.</p>
<p>"Says you!" Lily laughed. "You wouldn't know a good look if it bit you! Besides, you have sprinkles in your hair.</p>
<p>Al looked confused. "No I don't?"</p>
<p>Lily dumped a handful of sprinkles on her brother's head, allowing it to mix with Al's jungle of black curls. "Now you do!" She giggled.</p>
<p>James and Teddy burst into laughter at Al's dumbfounded expression, nearly dropping the sloppily iced cookie he was holding. "Think it's funny, do you?" Al smirked before squeezing a tube of blue icing onto James' head as he unsuccessfully tried to get away.</p>
<p>"Watch it Sprinkles!" James grinned. "You're messing with the king of messers here." He tossed a handful of flour at Al who dodged it, causing it to hit Teddy and stick to the icing on his face.</p>
<p>"Oi!" Teddy yelled indignantly. "Watch it, Jamie!" He was laughing though as he threw a glob of icing at James in retaliation.</p>
<p>Within moments the four were in a very epic icing and flour battle, shrieking with laughter and yelling with joy. They were completely unaware of the raucous they were making until Harry, Draco, and Ginny rushed into the kitchen, wands drawn. "What-?" Harry lowered his wand, confused as a glob of icing that Teddy had thrown at James, (who had dodged it), hit him in the chest. All four looked rather sheepish.</p>
<p>Ginny sighed amused. "I thought I said you could ice the cookies, not the entire kitchen."</p>
<p>"W-we'll clean it up?" James offered as Teddy gave an embarrassed "Sorry!"</p>
<p>"Lily started it." Al added unhelpfully.</p>
<p>"Watch it Sprinkles!" Lily snapped.</p>
<p>"Sprinkles?" Draco raised an eyebrow.</p>
<p>Harry grinned. "Draco, meet my crazy crazy children."</p>
<p>The tension seemed to lift and the kids joined as Harry and Ginny laughed. Even a bemused Draco managed a chuckle or two.</p>
<p>"Okay you four, go shower. Teddy, I've put a clean towel on your bed, I figured you four would get up to something. Go on! I'll clean this up." Ginny said, waving her wand to clean the kitchen as the four children ran to their respective bathrooms.</p>
<p>"Why do you two look like children in a candy shop?" Draco asked, noting the wide smiles on his hosts' faces. "Did you want your kitchen trashed?"</p>
<p>"They were smiling!" Ginny burst out looking positively overjoyed. "They were laughing, Harry! Laughing!"</p>
<p>Harry was a bit more composed, but he too looked delighted. "I know, Gin." He whispered, pulling her into an embrace from behind and pressing a kiss to her cheek before looking at Draco. "It's been a while since they've been so carefree. Sure they've smiled and chuckled a little with Teddy, but not like this. Not since then."</p>
<p>Draco forced a smile. He desperately did not want to ruin the Potters' happy moment, but he couldn't help but wonder what his future held and, more importantly, what his son's future held. Would his son also not smile or laugh? Would he even see him again?</p>
<p>"Draco?" Ginny asked softly, freeing herself from Harry's arms and placing a hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong? And don't bother saying nothing is wrong, we won't believe you."</p>
<p>Draco shook his head, turning to face them. "I just- I don't want to ruin your happiness, I'm truly glad your children are happy. I just-" He sighed. "I just hear you saying things like that- saying they haven't smiled or laughed- and I just wonder, if I see Scorpius again, will he be able to smile? Am I never going to hear my son's laughter again?"</p>
<p>"First of all," Harry began confidently. "It's not if you see him again, it's when you see him again. And I can't promise he'll be okay and I can't promise you'll know what to do, hell, I still don't. However, I can promise you that we will all do everything in our power to make sure all our kids are happy. Like it or not Malfoy, we're in this together."</p>
<p>Draco couldn't help but smirk at the familiar use of his last name. "Alright then Potter, but that means you're stuck with me."</p>
<p>Harry grinned, patting him on the arm as he walked away to go change out of his icing stained shirt, leaving Ginny and Draco alone in the now clean kitchen. "He forgave you, you know. A long time ago. Harry's like that. I don't think he knows how to hold a grudge." The former said.</p>
<p>Draco sighed. "I know, but I can't forgive myself. Maybe for the stupid stuff when we were younger, but not for what happened in Malfoy Manor, not for just watching Hermione get tortured and hearing Harry and Ron fighting to get her safe. Not for what I did at The Battle of Hogwarts when I went to try and get them all killed and in return they saved my life." Draco sighed again. "I can't forgive me and I don't deserve his forgiveness. Or Ron and Hermione's and I know they haven't forgiven me completely either even if we did go to each others' weddings." He gave an empty laugh. "Ron can't even look at me and why should he after what I let happen to his wife?"</p>
<p>Ginny looked conflicted. "I haven't forgiven you either." She said simply. "Harry was so desperate to put it all behind him, to finally live happily that he was ready to forget it all and say you did what you had to to survive, but I wasn't so sure and neither were Ron and Hermione. Draco, you did some things that I don't think any of us will fully forgive you for, but that doesn't mean we can't try to get along now and it most certainly doesn't mean you and your son don't deserve help. You aren't like that anymore and from what James has said, your son most certainly isn't. Whatever happened when we were young happened and nothing is going to change that, but we decide what happens now. Don't look for forgiveness for the past, just make sure you don't have to ask for it again in the future."</p>
<p>Draco found himself nodding. "Thank you." He whispered. "For everything."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter Five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Again, I see Draco as redeemable, but not innocent so no hate please.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>CHAPTER FIVE</strong>
</p><p>James sighed, feeling the hot water on his skin, grinning as he washed icing out of his hair. He hadn't had as much fun with his siblings as he just had in ages. For that moment, for those few minutes, it was if nothing had ever happened. As if they had never been kidnapped, terrorised, and tortured by a group of people who were still out there. It was funny to think though, just a year ago a hot shower hadn't been available to him. Sure, they had had a bathroom attached to their little dungeon room, but the water had always been cold and the showers had been less relaxing and more a necessity to wash the blood and dirt off. When he'd got back home there would be times where he would be surprised to not see the water falling off his skin turning brown or red before reaching the drain. Lately, however, showers had become one of his favourite things. There was something undeniably relaxing about standing under the hot stream of water; it was as if the water washed away all the evil that had been done before. Still, he was hesitant to stay there for too long and be forced to find himself alone with his thoughts.</p><p>Sighing, James shut off the water and quickly dried and dressed himself in pajamas, ruffling his damp hair as he stepped out of the bathroom. He entered his room, tossing his icing stained clothes in a hamper and sitting on his bed. He could hear the sounds of Lily and Al downstairs, but he couldn't bring himself to go back down. While the cookie-decorating battle had been a blast, James knew that feeling was temporary; soon the nightmares and anxiety would creep back in to him and his siblings. The teen huffed angrily to himself. Why couldn't they just act like nothing had ever happened?</p><p>"James?" A voice asked. James looked up to see Teddy standing in the doorway, his damp turquoise hair hanging over his concerned eyes. "You okay, kiddo?"</p><p>James couldn't help but smirk at the nickname. Despite having only been seven or so when James was born, Teddy had taken on the older brother role quite seriously, even more so after Al was born a year later. Still, Teddy and James had a special relationship. James had always looked up to Teddy and to Teddy, James was always the little one rather than the elder brother his siblings looked up to him as. So, despite being less than a decade apart, James was always a kid in Teddy's mind. "Yea, just tired." James smiled a little.</p><p>Teddy arched an eyebrow. "Wanna try again? You know I don't believe that rubbish." He moved to sit down next to the younger boy. "So, what's really bugging you?"</p><p>James rolled his eyes, but answered anyway. "It's frustrating is all. I mean, Lily and Al, they have good moments like just now, and I wish they could just stay like that. I want them to stay happy and carefree, but I know once they go to sleep in a few hours they'll have nightmares again and it'll be back to how it was."</p><p>Teddy nodded slowly, choosing not to mention that he knew it wasn't just Lily and Al James was talking about. "I know you've heard this before, but it'll take time. It will happen though, I know it will." He paused. "Until then, you just keep reminding yourself- or Lily and Al- that there are so many people here for you that will be with you every step of the way." With a small smile, Teddy ruffled James' hair, ignoring his protests. "C'mon Jamie. Let's go eat some of those cookies and maybe we can stay up all night with Al and Lily watching movies on that muggle television like we used to."</p><p>"You're staying the night?" James asked hopefully. Teddy had been fairly busy since graduating from Hogwarts. Andromeda had fallen ill and, while she was better, Teddy spent a lot of time caring for her. In between his grandmother, job, and girlfriend, Teddy had seemed to always have to be somewhere at night. Then, a bit before James, Al, and Lily had been taken, Andromeda passed away and Teddy had seemed to withdraw even more. However, according to Harry, after the kids were taken, Teddy seemed to bounce back with a vengeance, determined not to loose anyone else. Victoire had been a steady support and soon after the kids were found, Teddy proposed to Victoire. Teddy had turned to preparing Shell Cottage with her for them to move into. While he visited the Potters often, it had been a while since he had stayed the night.</p><p>Teddy grinned and nodded. "I figured Victoire can last one night without me."</p><p>"Yes!" James whooped.</p><p>"Race you!" Teddy called, speeding down the hall with a laughing James on his tail.</p><p>As he sat with Teddy, Al, and Lily, throwing popcorn at each other and watching some muggle movie his father had bought, James couldn't help but feel hopeful. Maybe Teddy was right, maybe it would just take time, but everything would be okay eventually.</p>
<hr/><p>Christmas morning came quickly, and James woke up early, (not that he had slept much), earlier even than the over-excited Lily who, on past Christmas mornings, awoke the whole household at half past six in the morning, too excited to wait. Despite his restless sleep, James woke up excited. This year, Christmas would be so much more than it was the year before. Teddy, when he had left the morning after the icing battle, had promised to try and convince Harry to let James, Lily, and Al spend a few days at Shell Cottage at the family gathering Christmas evening, which meant that the following days would be enjoyable as well. With a smile, James sat up and put on his glasses, his eyes flicking to the clock which read 5:30. He briefly thought about trying to get some more sleep, but figured Lily would wake him up by the time he was able to fall asleep anyway.</p><p>Instead, James brushed his teeth and went down the stairs and into the kitchen with the full intention of making breakfast for his family and Mr. Malfoy. He made himself a cup of coffee before taking out chocolate and pancake mix; chocolate pancakes were a Christmas tradition for the Potters. He hummed quietly to himself as he did so, enjoying the calm and silent morning. He loved his loud, happy family, but sometimes the noise was just too much for him.</p><p>The sun was just beginning to light the kitchen when James was shaken from his peaceful pancake mix stirring when there was a frantic knocking on the kitchen door. James stood stock still, his hand reaching for his wand.</p><p>KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!</p><p>Holding his wand out, James walked slowly towards the door, wearily peeping into the peephole before gasping and throwing open the door. Hunched over in the snow was a pale blond figure, dressed in pajamas and a dressing gown, shivering and barely staying up-right. His blond hair was matted with ice and his skin and lips had an alarmingly blue tinge.</p><p>"P-Please, I- I got away f-from th-them. P-please I n-n-need to f-f-find H-Harry P-Potter!" The boy shivered desperately, swaying a little.</p><p>"Scorpius!?" James exclaimed, running to catch the boy as he swayed, only to stop short as the younger one flinched.</p><p>"J-James?" He muttered, a wide and slightly delirious smile appearing on his face. "I m-m-made it!" He laughed, still seeming very out of it. "I-I g-g-got away!" With that, he promptly collapsed as James hurried to catch him.</p><p>James quickly pulled the unconscious boy into the warm kitchen, yelling for his parents. "Mum! Dad! Mr. Malfoy! Quick!" In an instant, Harry was tearing down the stairs with his wand into the family room just as James dragged Scorpius' body into the room.</p><p>Harry stared, shocked for a moment before he hastened to help his son carry Scorpius to the couch in the adjoining drawing room and start a fire in the nearby fireplace. "Draco!" He yelled. "Draco get over here!" He turned back to James. "What happened Jamie?"</p><p>James was lost. "I-I dunno Dad. I was just making breakfast and there was a knock at the door and he was delirious and keeling over asking for you and saying he got away from them and then he fainted! He's probably been out in the cold for god knows how long! I didn't know what to do!"</p><p>At that moment, Lily and Al came running with Ginny and Draco, wands drawn. "What happened? Who's hurt?" The latter exclaimed hurriedly, before his eyes found the figure on the couch. Draco's eyes widened and he dropped his wand, falling to his knees in front of the couch as Lily and Albus gasped in unison. "Scorpius!" Draco cried. "Oh my child! My baby!" Tears fell down his face. "Is he-?"</p><p>"No." James replied quickly, moving to stand next to his siblings. "He's just passed out. He just showed up at the door, freezing to death saying he got away! He passed out before he could say much that made sense!"</p><p>Draco let out a sob of relief. "He's going to be okay?"</p><p>"Most likely." Harry said softly, assessing the boy's condition from behind the couch. "It looks like mild hypothermia, we had to learn to treat it in auror training. As long as we keep him warm, he should be fine."</p><p>Ginny took charge. "Al, you and Lily go get some blankets, Jamie, he looks about your size, get him some dry clothes."</p><p>As the three children ran off, Draco ran a hand through his son's hair, looking overwhelmed. "I don't- How did this happen?"</p><p>Harry's answer was simple; "It's a goddamn Christmas miracle, that's how."</p><p>An hour later no one had moved. The sun had risen into the sky and the half stirred pancake mix on the kitchen counter and pile of presents under the tree sat forgotten. No one said a word; the only sounds were the crackling of the fire and the steady breathing of the room's occupants. Each and every one of them, huddled around the body on the couch, were waiting. Draco was fighting back tears, though it wasn't clear if they were of relief, anger, or sadness, and clutching his son's hand like a lifeline. Harry had one hand on Draco's shoulder and the other was wrapped around Ginny's waist as she stood next to him. The three children stood a little way back, watching the scene in front of them with no idea how to feel.</p><p>"He-he's still alive, right?" Lily whispered to James, pulling on his sleeve to get his attention.</p><p>James nodded. "Of course he is." He hoped at least. Was it normal for someone to be unconscious as long as Scorpius had? Could someone even survive being outside in those temperatures for that long? Is this how he, Al, and Lily had looked when they were found? "He has to be." He added, almost to himself. The Death Eaters had taken too many lives in the past, they didn't get to take one more, especially one so young, it wasn't fair.</p><p>They lapsed into silence once more. Then, it happened. A soft groan reached the ears of the waiting crowd as the boy on the sofa shifted.</p><p>"Scorpius?!" Draco breathed. "C'mon love, open your eyes. It's Dad. C'mon Scorpius."</p><p>"Wha-?" The boy mumbled, blinking. "Where-?" Suddenly, Scorpius jumped back, startling awake and unsure of where he was. "Dad?" He asked, his voice unsure and marred by disbelief.. Draco nodded, no longer fighting his tears as a smile lit his son's paler than usual face. "Dad!" Scorpius yelled, jumping into his father's embrace, sobbing. "I-I th-thought-" He cried. "You were dead! I watched you die!"</p><p>Draco just clutched his son tighter. "I lived." He said.</p>
<hr/><p>The Potters and Malfoys sat on the floor in the family room after a hearty breakfast, surrounded by torn wrapping paper, and holding mugs of steaming hot chocolate. Scorpius was wrapped in as many spare blankets as Lily and Al could find and the colour was starting to return to his cheeks as he talked happily with Lily, Al, and James who had all offered to share their presents with him. Consequently, the children were all shuffling through a large bag of Bertie Botts and laughing as Albus spluttered after having eaten an ear wax flavoured one thinking it was toffee. The adults were smiling at the scene as well, but all of them were slightly worried. How long could they go on pretending nothing had happened?</p><p>Earlier, Harry had flued to the Burrow to inform them of their two guests and it had been decided that the Malfoys would accompany the Potters to the annual Weasley Christmas dinner, despite Molly and Bill's initial hesitation. They weren't so sure about the Malfoy's, especially because Ron still had strong feelings about what was done to Hermione. However, after contacting Ron and running the situation by him, Harry- and Hermione surprisingly- had managed to convince them even the Malfoys deserved a bit of Christmas cheer. Soon, the three Potter children and Scorpius were trudging out the door into the snow, wrapped in coats and waiting to pile into the Potters' car. The adults were still getting ready, but the children had wanted to wait outside to 'hurry the parents along'.</p><p>James stepped into the snow, shaking his head and smiling as he heard his mother say "Just ten more minutes love." for the tenth time that evening. He surveyed the scene in front of him in the white front yard of the Potter's house. Lily and Al were shrieking with laughter as they threw mounds of snow at each other and ran around the yard. James' smile widened slightly, it was good to see them so carefree when a year ago they had been the exact opposite. <em>"No!"</em> He told himself. <em>"Don't think about that."</em> He shook himself, instead looking at their unexpected guest, his brows immediately furrowing with worry. Scorpius stood a little off to the side, staring down at the snow. It was then James suddenly remembered that just a few hours ago, the boy had been wandering through the very same snow, unsure of whether he would make it. He supposed now the adrenaline of running away and finding his father had faded, leaving Scorpius to fully recall his ordeal. Instinctively, James' feet carried him over to where the younger boy stood. He chose not to say anything, but instead stood by the boy, waiting for him to talk.</p><p>"I know you're here because you want to ask me if I'm okay and I know I should say yes because at least I'm alive." Scorpius said after a minute.</p><p>"Alive and okay aren't the same thing." James responded quietly.</p><p>There was another moment of silence and Scorpius spoke again. "It isn't fair." He whispered. "I want to be happy. My dad is alive even though I thought I watched him die, and I'm alive even though they caught me and I ran through the snow, and I want that to be enough."</p><p>"You miss your Mum." It wasn't a question, but a statement.</p><p>Scorpius nodded. "She-she's gone." He sniffed. "I want to be happy that my dad is alive and well, but I can't! I can't be happy! It's not fair!" He cried, flopping into the snow and sitting there with his knees pulled to his chest. "They always get to win, don't they? Even when something good happens they've always done something awful to counter it. They always win!"</p><p>James sat next to him in the snow, shaking his head at Lily and Al, who by now had noticed the commotion and were looking worriedly at the two. He knew they wanted to help, but he wasn't sure if Scorpius would appreciate too many people seeing him that way. Al nodded in understanding and dragged Lily off while James hesitantly put a hand on the sobbing boy's back. "They only win if we let them."</p><p>Scorpius looked up, wiping his face with a glove-clad hand. "What do you mean?"</p><p>James shrugged. "I mean if we keep telling ourselves they've won then they win." He parroted what Teddy had told him once. "That's what they want. It's okay to be sad and it's okay to be not okay, to have nightmares, and to wish that things were different. What we have to remember is that it doesn't mean it's over. They don't get to win unless we stop fighting; if we give up, they win." He sighed. "Just remember, that feeling of loss, it's what makes you different from them because they could never feel that strongly. And I know it's a bloody shit feeling, but don't wish you couldn't feel it because grief is just as important as happiness sometimes."</p><p>Scorpius blinked, but nodded. "Thanks James. Can we maybe not tell my dad about this just yet?"</p><p>James nodded. "Yea, of course. But you should talk to him eventually." He got to his feet and held out a hand for the younger boy to take.</p><p>Scorpius mimicked his nod, accepting James' help in getting up. He looked towards Lily and Albus who had resumed their snowball fight. "What do you say we join?" He asked, a slightly forced smile on his face."Gryffindors united."</p><p>James smirked. "Let's crush them." he picked up a heap of snow and tossed it towards Al who was facing away, laughing as the younger boy shrieked as the snow hit his bare neck.</p><p>"James!" He yelled, barely suppressing a smile.</p><p>Before he could retaliate though, the adults came trooping out, regarding the situation and realising the two youngest Potter children were drenched with melted snow. Ginny sighed and waved her wand, drying the two's clothes. "I swear I can't leave you all alone for a second!"</p><p>Lily looked oddly innocent. "It was Sprinkles." She said, bursting into laughter.</p><p>Al just scowled. "I'm not going to live that down, am I?"</p>
<hr/><p>Draco Malfoy was a little shocked. He had never expected to find himself in the situation he was in. Sure, he wasn't surprised that the Death Eaters bore him ill will, that they killed his mother and wife. Everything following that was what astonished him. Draco Malfoy never expected to be standing in the Weasley's family home at their Christmas gathering, a guest of none other than Harry Potter. He snorted at the thought of what his father would have had to say. Of course, no one was particularly friendly towards him, but they weren't unfriendly either. Ron had nodded curtly at him and Harry swanned by where he was standing in a corner to talk to him every now and then, but he was otherwise mostly ignored. Still, that was to be expected, some deeds were not easily forgiven and not meant to be forgotten.</p><p>He was sipping from a glass of eggnog when he saw it. He'd seen the Minister of Magic enter with her husband and kids, of course, Hermione Granger was a presence in any room. But now in the warmth of the house, she had removed her cardigan. She stood regally in a dark red dress; a half sleeved dress. He could make the mark out clearly on her arm: 'Mudblood'. It hadn't faded at all, Bellatrix's blade must have had some magic on it.</p><p>Subconsciously, his hand went to his own arm where the faded, but visible, Dark Mark was. He never wore half sleeves anymore, but he had something to be ashamed of, unlike her. The rest of the guests were dispersed around the room, but he still opened his mouth to call out to her- all that came out was a strangled sound. He wanted to apologise, to beg forgiveness. Not just for what he had let happen to her, but for everything he did to her, every name he called her, everything. With Harry and Ron it had been a mutual hate, they were rivals at school. Hermione, however, he had taken it too far with. He had said he wished her dead, he had called her slurs, he had done so much to her that he knew she could probably never forgive. He had never wished any real harm on any of them though, at least he didn't think he had. He had just been too scared to say anything at the manor all those years ago. Before that, well, he had always hidden behind the mask of bigotry his parents had forced on him. He wasn't sure what he was or would have done in the past, but he had changed. If he couldn't ask her to forgive him, he at least wanted her to know his current self was ashamed. But how could he?</p><p>All of a sudden, she spotted him, her mouth forming a forced smile. "Draco." She greeted, approaching his corner. She had always called him that, he remembered. Very rarely did she call him 'Malfoy'. He could see Ron's eyes on him and her from the other side of the room. Of course, Ron knew his wife was perfectly capable of handling herself, but he worried. Still, she looked over her shoulder at her husband with a nod and something in Draco wondered if Hermione needed to confront him as much as he needed to beg for her forgiveness.</p><p>"I am truly sorry about your wife." Hermione said genuinely. "Your parents too."</p><p>His mother and father had become estranged from him. He had wanted to distance himself from them after the war, he had wanted a fresh start. His mother had only moved in with them after his father died because she did not want to be alone in the dark empty Malfoy Manor. He grieved for his parents, yes, but it was nothing compared to the grief he felt for his wife. Just the mention of her brought tears to his eyes. He sniffed, hoping his emotions were not too obvious. "Thank you, um, Minister." He was unsure what to call her. Not Granger or Weasley, that was too rough. He was not familiar enough with her to call her Hermione either.</p><p>She tilted her head. "You can call me by my name." She paused. "My condolences for your loss." She repeated.</p><p>They were silent for an awkward moment. A sudden realisation struck Draco. She was the Minister for Magic. Of course she was expressing condolences, it was her job. It didn't mean she actually felt for him. Then again, he didn't think he deserved her empathy. She had no obligation to even professionally express her sympathies to him. Astoria though, she deserved it all. She had never strayed from her morals, despite her parents, her sister, anyone. She had always been pure. Draco did not deserve Hermione's sympathy, but Astoria did. He felt a sudden urge to defend his wife, though he wasn't sure what he was defending her against. "Astoria is a good person!" He blurted. Hermione looked mildly confused as Draco turned pink. "I mean, she was. She wasn't like me." He continued. "She was never-" he trailed off, licking his lips. "She was a good person."</p><p>Hermione's gaze softened. "I'm sure she was."</p><p>Draco finally managed to look Hermione in the eye. "I am truly sorry, Hermione. Astoria always pushed me to say that to you, but I was too scared. I know it does not mean much and it doesn't make up for anything, but I am so deeply sorry for everything I ever did to you at school and most of all for what happened- for what I let happen- to you." He gushed it out in one breath, awkwardly and, admittedly tactlessly, gesturing to her arm, still nervous. He owed it to her though. He owed Hermione an apology and he owed it to his late wife to give it. "I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, and I don't expect it, but you deserve at least an apology from me."</p><p>Hermione blinked, obviously taken aback. "I- well, thank you for that, Draco." She seemed to compose herself. "I spoke to Ginny and Harry and to Ron." She beckoned her husband over and he hastened to her. Ron wrapped his arms protectively around his wife and looked at Draco with determination. Suddenly, Draco realised why Ron never looked him in the eye; the red head did not want to give away his emotions. The anger and the wary acceptance were painted clearly now in Ron's eyes.</p><p>"I don't forgive you." Ron said planely. "'Mione doesn't talk about it." Now that it was pointed out, Draco did realise how Hermione had become tense at his reference to her torture, but she seemed less so once Ron appeared.</p><p>"Ron." The Minister of Magic chided softly. "Remember what we decided?"</p><p>Draco suddenly felt even more nervous, like he was waiting for his prison sentence, but when Ron spoke again he was less harsh. "We decided that we will <em>try</em> and put things past us and be… acquaintances."</p><p>Draco nodded, it was much more than he could have hoped for. "Thank you."</p><p>Ron nodded curtly as Hermione extracted herself from his arms. "Okay you two. Harry's practically jumping up and down waiting to discuss theories with you both. Go on." She pressed a kiss to Ron's cheek before walking off as Harry approached. Still, out of the corner of his eye, Draco saw her slip back on the cardigan.</p>
<hr/><p>Despite being the same age as Al and Rose (who was even in his house), Scorpius had never really interacted much with them. Rose, while perfectly kind to him, always was a little distant and Scorpius didn't blame her. James on the other hand had always been open and had always seemed safe to Scorpius and to most new Gryffindors. Scorpius had stuck close to James through most of the night, something James found to be nice as it meant he had company. Usually he would have stuck close to Teddy, but he knew Teddy was splitting his time between Victoire and convincing Harry to visit Shell Cottage. He didn't mind though, Scorpius was kind and funny and overall good company.</p><p>Still, there was an elephant in every room they went into; Scorpius had yet to tell anyone what exactly had happened and how he had gotten away. James' mind was spinning. If Scorpius had gotten away and been able to find the Potter's house without passing out or freezing, that meant he couldn't have come from far which in turn meant the Death Eaters couldn't be far. Evidently, the same thought was on Harry's mind as he seemed to be constantly looking at the door with one hand at his pocket where his wand was, paranoid that at any moment they would be under attack. However, no attack happened. They all just ate and laughed and celebrated. This time, James was careful not to over eat and attempted to forget that he'd been ill the last time he was at The Burrow, but it didn't seem anyone else had forgotten.</p><p>"How are you feeling, James?" Aunt Hermione asked him with a gentle smile.</p><p>"Hm? Oh I'm fine, Aunt Hermione." He gave her a smile.</p><p>She raised an eyebrow at him. "No more nausea?"</p><p>"Nope." James responded truthfully. He had overcome whatever it was that had made him throw up after he'd discovered the secret to curing his insomnia. Now almost every night he snuck down to the library and brought stacks of books to his room where he researched until he fell asleep. Sure, it probably wasn't the most healthy coping strategy, but it was working. He supposed his aunt hadn't believed him though because he was also asked by Uncle Ron, Aunt Fleur, Grandma and Grandpa Weasley, and most of the other adults. Really he was becoming sick of being asked if he was sick.</p><p>"Wow if I didn't know better I'd say you'd gotten sick last everyone saw you." Albus grinned cheekily, resting his elbow on James' shoulder as the Potters and Malfoys strolled out of The Burrow towards their car. Harry rolled his eyes as Lily and Scorpius chuckled.</p><p>James laughed. "Well good thing you know better than, little brother."</p><p>"I'm taller than you, you can't call me little." Albus retorted.</p><p>"I'm older than you so shut it Sprinkles." James joked back.</p><p>"Okay, now I just have to know where the nickname came from." Scorpius demanded.</p><p>Later that night found the Potters and the Malfoys gathered around the Potters' dining table with cups of steaming hot cocoa, talking amicably and laughing. One by one, they began to drift off. Lily was the first, almost falling asleep in her cocoa before Ginny sent her off to bed, following soon after to prepare a bed for Scorpius. The boys all chatted for a while before Al finally yawned and decided to head to bed as well. Almost as soon as the younger Potter son left, the atmosphere in the room changed from light to somber.</p><p>"They're nearby, aren't they?" James asked immediately.</p><p>"James…" Harry trailed off.</p><p>"Dad, we all know it." the boy responded. "I know you and Mr. Malfoy and Uncle Ron and all were discussing it at dinner. I'm not oblivious."</p><p>"James." Harry said a little more sternly, glancing at Scorpius. "Not now."</p><p>"I'm sorry." James said to Scorpius before turning back to his father. "Please just tell me what you are thinking. That's what I want to know."</p><p>Harry sighed. "Yes, they probably are close." Seeing the brief look of terror in his son's eyes, the man hastened to continue. "But, given that Scorpius escaped, they have also probably retreated. They aren't stupid enough to stay in the area and risk getting caught."</p><p>James quickly schooled his expression. "Good. I don't want them anywhere near Al and Lily or Scorpius for that matter."</p><p>Draco was looking at him strangely. "We don't want them near any of you." He said quietly.</p><p>"James, I understand you're worried, but we need to let Scorpius recover in peace without this type of stress."</p><p>"That's not what I meant!" James retorted. "I don't want Scorpius to share anything if he doesn't want to!" He deflated. "Sorry if it seemed that way." He apologised to Scorpius again.</p><p>"You don't have to apologise to me." Scorpius said. "Honestly I don't remember much."</p><p>"Scorpius, you don't have to-" Harry started.</p><p>"I want to." He replied. "I don't know how much I'll be able to help, but may as well get it out. Like I said, I don't remember much. I just remember running after Dad told me to, I was covered in his blood and I wasn't really thinking straight, probably in shock. I ran into the woods and I guess my aim was to sneak through them to town where I could get help, but I ended up running straight into them." He shuddered. "They dragged me to a portkey and I started yelling for help, but they hit me around the head and knocked me out. Next thing I knew I was tied to a tree in some forest. They stopped using portkeys then; one of them mentioned to another that they were too traceable so they apparated to some little house, I don't know where, and kept me tied up there. They pretty much ignored me except to give me food or water or to gloat about k-killing you." He swallowed and Draco put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "They would untie me so I could use the loo and one time they were careless and left a window open. Honestly, I didn't look back so I don't know if they followed me. I just kept running and ended up here somehow. I don't know how." He finished.</p><p>"They didn't hurt you?" Draco whispered. "Oh thank God." He tightened his grip on his son's shoulder, not noticing the boy's wince.</p><p>"I-I mean they did-you know- s-slap me around a little. But for the most part they ignored me."</p><p>James narrowed his eyes at his new friend, but said nothing. He had noticed how the boy had avoided eye contact when saying the Death Eaters ignored him and his wince. Apparently, Harry had to because he furrowed his eyebrows. "I think we should take you to St. Mungo's tomorrow anyway. Just to be sure."</p><p>"I really don't need-" Scorpius began but sighed when his father gave him a look. "Fine."</p><p>"It seems too easy though." James murmured, almost to himself.</p><p>"James." Harry warned, but he was ignored.</p><p>"An open window." James scoffed. "They can't have been that careless accidentally."</p><p>Harry opened his mouth to scold his son, but Scorpius spoke up. "He's got a point. I did think it was odd…"</p><p>"But why let you go?" James wondered aloud.</p><p>"James, we are not having this discussion right now." Harry snapped.</p><p>"I think you both should get some sleep." Draco added.</p><p>"But dad-" James began as Scorpius too began to protest.</p><p>"Scorpius, now off to bed." Draco said with finality.</p><p>"Both of you." Harry added, looking pointedly at James. The younger Potter opened his mouth to protest, but a stern look from Harry had him leaving with a sigh.</p><p>As the boy's exited the room, Harry shook his head at Draco. "I think our sons may be a little too similar. Neither of them are about to open up."</p><p>Draco nodded. "James is right though. An open window is careless. And why were they holding Scorpius anyway?"</p><p>"No idea." Harry sighed. "Just another mystery." His head was spinning as well though.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter Six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi! I know its been forever. My semester started in August and I don't have pre-written chapters anymore so it may take a while but I do intend to see this story through. Again, I have taken some creative liberties in terms of magical medicine.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>CHAPTER SIX:</strong>
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  <em>A figure stood, hands behind his back, as he looked out at the dark sky. "Report." He said curtly. Despite his strikingly pale appearance, there was an air of darkness around him.</em>
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  <em>"The boy escaped." Another man replied. "All is well. Not that I report to you anyway."</em>
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  <em>The first man growled, turning away from the window. "We shall see."</em>
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  <em>The second man looked at him with equal anger. "Our interests may be aligned for now, but see we shall."</em>
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  <em>The first man growled again, turning back to the window. "Leave."</em>
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  <em>The second man moved towards him aggressively, but seemed to think better of it. Instead, he turned on his heel and left, slamming the door behind him.</em>
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<p>He dreamed again that night, not that it was anything new. It was to be expected really, considering the conversation he had just had with his father, Scorpius, and Mr. Malfoy. Still, that didn't make it any less horrid. It seemed like the moment James closed his eyes, he was there again. Back in that cold, dungeon-like room.</p>
<p>This time, Lily was curled up on one of the cots in the room, clutching her hand to her chest. It had been at least a month since they had been kidnapped, though James had lost track. That day, they had been their sixth challenge, this time to retrieve a dusty old volume- a potions book he thought- from a vault underground. Of course, the passage into the vault was heavily booby-trapped. To make matters worse, the booby-traps had involved lots and lots of fire and James hadn't been well versed in spells to combat that. They had all ended up getting burned, but Lily had gotten the worst of it with a large portion of her hand being scorched. Thankfully, one of their captors had provided them with some sort of balm and James had, (after a few tries), managed to use a healing spell that he'd seen Ginny use to at least alleviate her pain a little. However, the book the Death Eaters had wanted had gotten slightly burned as well and a quarter of it was no longer readable. Dolohov had been furious and when he had started towards Lily, James and Albus had put up a fight. The result was James being pinned against a wall by Travers while Dolohov grasped Al's arm and twisted until it cracked with a loud sound to accompany Al's scream.</p>
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  <em>Al was crying softly, unable to stop himself despite his pride, as James tried to heal the broken bone as best he could with his limited knowledge. "Curo!" He tried, repeating the words and waving his wand like he'd seen his mother do. Still, the spell was only for minor injuries, (small cuts, scrapes and minor burns), and seemed to do nothing for Albus. He found himself wishing he had paid a little bit more attention in Charms but he didn't even think his class had learned advanced healing spells yet.</em>
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  <em>The door to their cell of a room was thrown open and James immediately jumped to his feet, putting himself in front of Albus and the still sleeping Lily. Amycus strolled in, leering at them. "Here." He jeered, tossing a bottle of Skelegrow towards James, who fumbled to catch it. "Be thankful." With that, he'd strolled out, slamming the door behind him.</em>
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  <em>"Here, Al." James said softly, pouring a little bit of the vile potion into the lid of the bottle. "Drink up and then try and get some sleep." Al did as told, grimacing at the taste of the potion and groaning as the painful feeling of his bones being mended began.</em>
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  <em>"I'm sorry." James said quietly after a few moments. It was obvious Albus was not about to get any sleep as he kept shifting and groaning in obvious pain and discomfort. "It should have been me."</em>
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  <em>"Don't be stupid." His little brother said. "It shouldn't be any of us." He yelped as he slowly pushed himself into a sitting position with his good arm. "James, we have to find a way out. I don't want to die here."</em>
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  <em>"We won't." James promised, sounding much more confident than he felt. "I won't let that happen."</em>
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<p>James opened his eyes, feeling a rush of guilt. It had taken him months after that incident to get his siblings out of that hell hole. Not to say he hadn't tried. He didn't want to think about it anymore, he didn't want to sleep. However, his eyes had different plans as they fluttered shut once more.</p>
<p>The scene changed and suddenly it was several weeks after the Death Eater's had broken Al's arm- about three months into their captivity. By that point, Al and Lily had both experienced the Cruciatus curse as well as physical abuse from the Death Eaters and James had been desperate to get them out.</p>
<p>
  <em>Travers was dragging him out of the dungeon Al and Lily were in. He mentally did a count of where all the Death Eaters were. Travers was with him, presumably taking him to Dolohov and the newer ones that had arrived, a man they called Yaxley, a man he'd heard been called Rodolphus, and an ugly pock-marked man they called Rookwood. He had heard Amycus and Alecto be told to go somewhere (he hadn't been able to catch where) by Dolohov. As Travers pulled him closer to the room in the manor where Dolohov was, James could hear arguing.</em>
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  <em>"Just because your wife was a favourite of the Dark Lord does not mean you were, Lestrange." A voice hissed.</em>
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  <em>"And you were?" A voice growled back. "You caused more issues than anything, Yaxley!"</em>
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  <em>"If it wasn't for me, you would both still be locked up in Azkaban!" Dolohov's voice spit. "I am in charge of this and I make the decisions. Rodolphus is right we-"</em>
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  <em>He was cut off as Traver's threw open the door and threw James in. The boy hit the floor at Dolohov's feet and groaned as his battered body protested the mistreatment. "Our little Gryffindor's been naughty." The man laughed gleefully. "Caught him trying to pick the lock of the cell door the muggle way with one of the girl's hairpins."</em>
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  <em>Dolohov growled, grabbing James' hair and pulling him to his feet by it. The boy grit his teeth and hissed, but met his captor's eyes with a steely glaze. "Well, you lot seem to think muggles aren't worth anything, thought I'd prove you wrong." Dolohov just let out another growl and threw him back onto the floor, aiming a kick to his ribs.</em>
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  <em>"Which one is this?" The pock-marked Rookwood asked interestedly, peering at James like he was a specimen in a zoo.</em>
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  <em>"Older one?" Yaxley, whose voice James' recognised from the argument he'd heard.</em>
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  <em>Dolohov grunted in response, still glaring at James. "He's a little shit." He snarled, kicking at James again as the boy tried to move away, only to end up against another man, who he assumed was Lestrange's, legs. He'd heard the name Lestrange- Bellatrix Lestrange. The thought of her and any of her family terrified him.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The man pulled him up by the scruff of his shirt, forcing his head upwards with a bruising grip on James' chin so their eyes met. "Do you really think you're going to get out of here alive?" James remained silent and Lestrange shook him roughly. "Answer me, boy!" He growled.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"No." He answered in a steady voice. "But that doesn't mean I won't try." He knew all three of the Potters' chances of escaping alive together were slim, if existent at all, but it would be more manageable to get his siblings out. He was once again thrown at Dolohov's feet with another groan of pain.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"What're you going to do to him?" Rookwood asked, sounding genuinely excited. "Torture him?"</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"In a way." Dolohov replied. "No Cruciatus curse. I don't want him losing his marbles." Sectumsempra had become a well used punishment by that point, but the thought of it still made James back away, panic lighting on his face.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Oh look." Rookwood sneered. "He's scared."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Dolohov snorted. "Little Gryffindor can't live up to his house." He pondered for a moment. "Still, can't seem to get obedience into his thick skull no matter how many times he's punished." His tone was almost conversational, as if he was enjoying the thought of torturing a defenseless young boy- he probably was. "What can we do to make the lessons stick?"</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Shall I get one of the little ones?" Travers asked eagerly.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"No!" James screamed, pulling himself to his feet. "Don't touch them!"</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"God he's just like him." Yaxley bit out disgustedly but his obvious reference to Harry was ignored.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"You three," Dolohov gestured to Yaxley, Rookwood, and Travers, "go help the Carrows." The three did as told, looking almost sad that they wouldn't get to see the show. "Why shouldn't I?" Dolohov sneered in James' face as the door closed. "Why shouldn't I torture them until they don't know their names? Hmm? Without you they couldn't get what we need but without them, you could."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Not if you-" he gulped, unable to say "killed them". "I wouldn't. I'd rather die." He took a deep breath. "I-I'll make you a deal."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Dolohov raised an eyebrow. "I'll indulge you. Your father said he would never make deals with Death Eaters." He laughed. "He'd be so disappointed."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>James felt as if those words were stabbing him. Of course his dad would be disappointed. He hadn't protected his siblings as well as he'd have liked and now he was about to make a deal with the devils. He had to though, to keep Lily and Al safe, so he ignored the taunt. "We'll do what you want. We'll get everything you want and we won't sabotage it like we've been doing." He referred to the way they had been rather carelessly treating some of the objects they'd been asked to receive in order to potentially foil the Death Eater's plans. Based on the look of rage on Dolohov's face, he hadn't realised it. The man let out an inhumane sound of anger and slammed the back of his hand onto James' face, causing the boy to stumble into Lestrange once more before the man shoved him back towards Dolohov. James yelped. He could feel blood falling from his lip, but ignored it., taking a second to compose himself before continuing calmly. "In return,you leave my siblings alone. You can do whatever you want to me. Just not them." He tried to keep the plea out of his voice. "Don't hurt them anymore."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Dolohov grinned sadistically. "What makes you think I can't do anything I want to you right now?" He reached out, grabbing James' arm with brutal strength. "Rodolphus, the dagger."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>James paled and began to struggle against Dolohov's iron grip, but he was weak and the man was not. Dolohov growled again and threw him onto a chair, waving his wand at him and causing ropes to tightly bind him to the chair.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"What do you want it for?" Lestrange asked. "Use your wand."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Dolohov shrugged. "I just thought Bella would've wanted some Potter blood on her blade."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Only if I get to use it." Lestrange smiled in the same maniacal manner as his colleague.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Be my guest."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>James struggled against the bonds to no avail as Lestrange approached him, wielding a silver dagger, its blade glinting in the light.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Where should we start, hmm?" Lestrange hummed, running the tip of the blade along James' cheek, though it was too light to cut the skin. He moved the blade to the other cheek, continuing to almost stroke the boy's face with the dagger. "Where oh where, right little Gryffindor? Such tough decisions." Then, without warning, he plunged the dagger into James' leg.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The boy screamed, bucking violently against the ropes as Lestrange twisted the blade before pulling it out. James was sobbing as the blood dripped down his pants leg. Lestrange strolled behind the chair, pulling James' head upwards again by his hair and placing the knife against his neck, pressing just enough to draw a bead of blood. James was hyperventilating, unable to hide his fear, but unwilling to give his torturers the pleasure of him begging them to stop. "You and your pathetic siblings are not getting out of here alive." Lestrange hissed. "You are powerless." He released his grip on the boy and removed the knife.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>James was beginning to feel nauseous, both feeling and seeing his blood begin to pool on the ground. He retched, throwing up the meager contents of his stomach at Dolohov's feet.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Sectumsempra!" Dolohov hissed, towering over him. James screamed again, feeling the skin on his stomach slice open in multiple places as more blood poured from the wounds. He could barely think straight; it hurt so much.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He was slipping away, he could barely make out Lestrange's voice. "Clever. Hate the man who made that spell, but it's bloody great."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Dolohov had ignored his colleague, instead backhanding James again, eliciting a small, weak, yelp. "You know what to do, little Gryffindor. Show us how brave you are! Beg me." He heard Dolohov hiss again. "Beg!"</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>James forced himself to look up, glaring at his captor before screaming as Lestrange, who was behind him once again, slashed down his shoulder blades. "Do it, Potter." Lestrange hissed in James' ear.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>James could feel the blood pouring down his back now as well as from his leg and stomach. The pain was too much, the blood was everywhere. What would Al and Lily do? He didn't want to die, he wasn't ready. "P-please!" He whispered before blackness consumed him.</em>
</p>
<p>He gasped awake, his hand feeling the scar on his leg and his breath erratic. He remembered waking up in the dungeon again, healed, but covered in blood and terrified. It had been the one time he had let Al and Lily see him scared. The dagger had not come out often, thankfully, but that had not been the last time either.</p>
<p>James took a few deep breaths, blinking back tears before putting on his glasses and getting to his feet, knowing he wouldn't be able to get any more sleep. The clock next to his bed told him it was a quarter to five in the morning. He figured he could use a glass of water and then maybe he would just go to the library and sneak up before six so it would look like he had slept. When he walked into the kitchen, however, he found he wasn't alone. "Dad?" He asked, seeing his father at the kitchen table with a mug in front of him.</p>
<p>Harry looked up from the cocoa he'd been staring at. "James?" He asked, furrowing his brows. "What're you doing up?"</p>
<p>James shrugged. "What are you doing up?"</p>
<p>"Al and Lily had a nightmare, they're sleeping next to Ginny now. I thought I'd sleep in a spare room but, don't think I could fall back asleep now so I came down here." The two eldest Potters' bed was large and Lily slept there often after a nightmare with her parents. However, it was not large enough for both Harry and Ginny to sleep on in the rare instances that Lily and Al both felt the need to curl up there. The last time it had happened had been a few nights before the kids had gone back to school. Harry got up and went to a cabinet, pulling out a mug. "Cocoa?" He asked.</p>
<p>"Yea, sure." James replied, sitting down at the table, feeling guilty. How come he hadn't heard Lily? Why hadn't he been there? "Because you were too busy being stabbed." He thought to himself humorlessly. As if that was an excuse. He'd much rather deal with Lily's nightmares than his own. Maybe that's why he was so focused on helping Lily and Al, so he didn't have to confront his own fears. After all, he was a Gryffindor, he shouldn't be afraid. "Thanks." He said softly as Harry placed a mug in front of him before resuming his seat.</p>
<p>"James?" Harry asked softly. "I won't push, but you can tell me anything."</p>
<p>James looked up at him, unable to hide the tears in his hazel eyes. "I-I don't want to talk about it. Please dad, not tonight, please."</p>
<p>Harry felt his heart break again at the desperate look on his son's face. That night's nightmare must have been a bad one. "Okay Jamie, not tonight." He gave in. "C'mon, we can sit on the couch and talk about something else, or nothing at all."</p>
<p>So they did, drinking their cocoa and talking quietly about Quidditch and James' classes and Ginny's most recent article. So when Ginny came down the stairs a few hours later and entered the family room, she was met with the sight of her eldest son asleep on the couch with his head on her husband's chest as the man carded a hand through his hair, smiling softly.</p>
<p>"What happened?" Ginny whispered, moving to sit next to her husband and son.</p>
<p>"Nightmare. He wouldn't tell me what but it seems like it was a bad one." Harry answered in the same quiet tone. "We were just talking about random things and he fell asleep. How're Al and Lily?"</p>
<p>Ginny also brushed her hand through James' hair once before responding to her husband. "Still asleep."</p>
<p>"Probably because of Scorpius turning up." Harry sighed. "They aren't oblivious, especially James, they know this means the Death Eaters were close."</p>
<p>Ginny nodded, looking forlorn. "Maybe we should consider a trip like Teddy suggested. Maybe not to Shell Cottage, but somewhere. We can take the Malfoys I suppose, it might do the kids good to relax and have some fun somewhere.</p>
<p>"Maybe." Harry sighed. "You're probably right though. You almost always are."</p>
<p>Ginny laughed, running a hand through James' hair again."I can't remember the last time he fell asleep like this." A fond look graced her features. "He used to fall asleep on you all the time as a child."</p>
<p>Harry laughed quietly as well. "Don't tell him that. He'll be embarrassed."</p>
<p>Ginny chuckled as well. The two Potters sat, reveling in the peace and chatting softly about old memories from when their children were growing up. Finally, after an hour or so, Harry checked his watch with a sigh. "Well, we should probably start getting ready for the day and get the kids up." He looked at the sleeping boy on his chest regretfully. "It is already half past nine and Draco is going to take Scorpius to St. Mungos at eleven and I said I'd go with them."</p>
<p>Ginny also seemed reluctant, but nodded. "I'll go start breakfast. You get the kids up."</p>
<p>"Oh leaving me with the difficult job, thanks." Harry tossed over his shoulder at her as she giggled and waved him off, walking towards the kitchen. Shaking his head, the father turned back to his son.</p>
<hr/>
<p>"Do I really have to?" Scorpius asked his father. "I'd much rather stay here." The two Malfoys, along with Harry, were about to head off to St. Mungos to have Scorpius checked over properly. Despite the boy's assertion that he had not been hurt badly, Ginny, Harry, and Draco seemed adamant that he be examined especially as Draco had noticed his son coughing quite a lot at night.</p>
<p>Draco exchanged an exasperated look with Harry. "Yes, Scorpius. You do have to."</p>
<p>The blond boy scowled, trying- and failing- to suppress another cough.</p>
<p>"Look, Scorpius, I know it's scary, but all of us, especially your dad, just want to make sure you're okay. At least let us get you checked out for our own peace of mind, even if you think you don't need to be." Harry reasoned.</p>
<p>Scorpius sighed in defeat. "Fine."</p>
<p>"Thank you." Draco sighed.</p>
<p>Scorpius just shrugged, but followed his father and Harry out the door anyway. Draco had wanted Harry to come along. Though his father had said that he'd only wanted Harry to come in case anything official needed to be recorded for the Aurors' use, Scorpius was fairly certain Draco was in dire need of moral support. He couldn't blame his father though, he was resolutely trying not to think about what a mess his life had suddenly become. Suddenly, however, he didn't want to face it alone either. "Can James come?" He blurted out before having fully processed his thoughts. Draco and Harry both looked at him questioningly. "I-I um- I don't want to be alone."</p>
<p>"I'll be there through the whole thing and Harry will be right outside." Draco told him.</p>
<p>Harry put his hand on Draco's shoulder, leaning and whispering something to him. Draco sighed, and nodded. "I'll go see if he's ready." Harry answered Scorpius, clapping Draco on the back as he walked off.</p>
<p>"I- sorry Dad, I just-" Draco cut his son off.</p>
<p>"It's okay, Scorpius." He smiled sadly. "I'm glad you trust him and that you two get along. I'm glad you've made friends with all three of them really."</p>
<p>"It's not that I don't trust you!" Scorpius protested.</p>
<p>"That's not what I meant, love." Draco assured his son, pulling him into a hug. "I may not completely understand what you went through, but he probably does and I'm sure that helps."</p>
<p>At that moment, Harry came back outside with James in tow. Scorpius felt a little guilty as he saw that James was halfway through a piece of toast, but the older boy shot him a smile.</p>
<p>"Shall we then?" Harry asked. Receiving nods, he continued. "Alright, James you hold onto me and Scorpius will go with Draco."</p>
<p>Soon, the four were entering the rickety old stepping into St Mungo's immaculate lobby.</p>
<p>"Hi." Draco greeted, stepping up to the reception desk. "We had an appointment for Scorpius Malfoy."</p>
<p>The man at reception glanced at some papers. "Yes, Healer Adams will see you." He glanced at Harry and James. "I'm afraid only the patient and his guardian can go in."</p>
<p>Harry sighed, showing the man his Auror ID card. "I'm here as part of an investigation. My son is here to help." He said testily. He had run-ins with this particular receptionist before when the man had tried to stop Harry and Ginny from staying with their kids overnight. "Scorpius and Draco both approve of us being here and will sign papers if needed." He added as the Malfoys nodded. Obviously miffed, the receptionist sniffed haughtily, but nonetheless shoved some papers at them before showing them to an examination room, closing the door with a bit more force than needed.</p>
<p>"What a little ray of sunshine." James said sarcastically.</p>
<p>"James! Be nice. He's just following procedure." Harry scolded, but he was grinning too much for James to take him seriously.</p>
<p>Scorpius managed a small chuckle, but was more preoccupied with playing with his sweater sleeve. He had told the truth in saying that the Death Eaters had mostly ignored him, but they had tortured him and he didn't want his father to know. Between his kidnapping, his mother's death, and Draco's own attack, Scorpius was sure his father had enough on his plate.</p>
<p>"He won't be mad." James' voice said softly.</p>
<p>Scorpius jumped in surprise, not realising that James had moved to stand next to the exam table where he sat. The blond glanced at his father who seemed to be busy talking to Harry about something. "I know." He answered. "I just don't want him to worry."</p>
<p>James nodded. "I understand but he's going to worry anyway." He paused. "Was it- um- was it bad?" James turned red. "I mean, that came out wrong, of course it was I-"</p>
<p>Scorpius cut him off. "No, it's okay. It wasn't that bad." He shrugged. "No really, honestly." He answered, seeing James' incredulous look. "They hit me a few times and well, um, they only used- well you know- once in the beginning. I mean they only had me for a week." He opened his mouth to continue, but was wracked with coughs instead.</p>
<p>"Are you alright?" Draco asked worriedly, hurrying over to his son at the sound of his coughs.</p>
<p>"Throat's just a little itchy." Scorpius croaked.</p>
<p>Harry frowned. "I wouldn't be surprised if you have a cold, Scorpius."</p>
<p>Scorpius was spared having to reply by a knock on the door as the healer entered. She was a tall middle aged woman with a serious but kindly expression. She was one of the two main healers who had taken care of the Potter children last year and continued to monitor their health. She nodded at James and Harry in greeting before getting to the business at hand. "Mr. Malfoy?" She asked as Draco gestured to Scorpius. "I'm Healer Adams. Now, I understand that the circumstances behind today's visit are… unusual but there is no need to get into that. I am simply going to use my wand to examine a few things and we will take it from there, okay?" Scorpius nodded, playing with his sleeve again, but still leaning into the hand his father placed on his shoulder. James, who had moved step outside with his father, gave him a reassuring look before closing the door. Healer Adams approached Scorpius, waving her wand at various places on his body. After a few minutes, she finally put her wand away. "Can you take off your shirt and trousers for me, Mr. Malfoy, I want to check for bruising."</p>
<p>Scorpius did as told, exposing his pale torso and bare limbs. There was a large purple bruise covering one side of his torso and various finger-shaped ones on his upper arms. His left knee was scraped but had already scabbed. Healer Adams, however, seemed more concerned than a large bruise on his right ribs. She then had him cough several times, which he had been doing anyway, and felt his larynx.</p>
<p>"Is he okay?" Draco asked worriedly.</p>
<p>Healer Adams smiled and nodded. "Yes. I just wanted to assure that no ribs were broken." She nodded at Scorpius to put his shirt back on as she addressed him. "There are several deep bruises, but nothing appears broken. You do seem to have a cold, but that is to be expected. I can give you a potion for that. What I am more concerned about is weight loss. You appear to have lost quite a lot of weight in a short period of time and, while you are not dangerously underweight, losing that much weight in a short time is not healthy."</p>
<p>Scorpius spoke for the first time since the start of the examination. "They didn't give me food. Just water and broth." He said softly.</p>
<p>Draco looked distraught, but Healer Adams continued calmly. "That would explain it. I could give you another potion, but I don't think it will be necessary as long as you eat nutrient rich and healthy have been through an ordeal so your body is fatigued which probably explains the cold along with exposure to cold and damp environments. Recovery will not be quick and easy as the cold will probably linger, but it will dissipate eventually."</p>
<p>Scorpius nodded. "Thank you, ma'am." He seemed slightly less subdued, but not as happy as he had been the night before. It was obvious that he was just beginning to process the full breadth of his ordeal.</p>
<p>Draco seemed relieved though. "So he'll be okay?" The father asked worriedly once again as they were leaving. Scorpius and James had already gone ahead and couldn't hear.</p>
<p>Healer Adams nodded once again. "Yes." She paused, seeming for the first time apprehensive. "Physically, he will be right as rain. Mentally… well that isn't my area of expertise. There is evidence of exposure to an unforgivable curse." At Draco's horrified look she continued. "Not severe or prolonged, I would think, but even a little can have effects on mental health. I, of course, don't know the full story, but trauma can do a lot of things to a person if not addressed." With that, she walked away, leaving Draco struggling to remain optimistic.</p>
<p>"It'll be alright." Harry assured him, though he sounded more confident than he felt. After all, his kids were far from alright. "Scorpius has been through a lot but he'll be okay in the end. They all will." He hoped at least.</p>
<p>Draco sighed, "It's not just that. I just never thought mentally how he would be I suppose. I was so happy to see him alive and all." Draco ran a hand through his hair as he and Harry followed a distance behind their sons. "I mean he saw his mother die. His grandmother too and he thought he watched me die. I can't say he and my mother were particularly close, and obviously I didn't really die, but Astoria…" He trailed off, his wife being too difficult to talk about. "All I wanted was for him to be deemed healthy and unhurt so he could go back to living a normal life but that isn't going to happen, is it? Nothing was going to be the same again and I don't think he's even allowed himself to think about it. I know I didn't for weeks." Draco suspected that Scorpius had most likely been too focused on getting away for the week or so he was with the Death Eaters, too full of adrenaline as he escaped, and then too full of relief at finding his father. Draco was pretty sure his son was still in denial over his mother's demise and seemed to be determined to act like she was simply on a vacation or just not mention her. The man was pretty sure it wasn't healthy for his son to just pretend nothing had happened, but he was loath to cause Scorpius any pain by breaking the delusion.</p>
<p>Harry nodded pensively. "I took the kids to a therapist. Al and Lily really benefited from it."</p>
<p>"And James?" Draco asked.</p>
<p>Harry sighed. "Unfortunately, to get help, one does have to admit they need it which James refuses to do."</p>
<p>Draco mimicked Harry's sigh. "I think Scorpius may be like that too."</p>
<p>The two fathers glanced at their sons who were also engaged in a hushed conversation. "Who knows though." Harry said. "They might be good for each other."</p>
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